Oct 30, 2008

You've Reached the Blog-Mail of PPG...

The only shit I have to share is depressing and (I strongly suspect) whiny so I think I need to step away for a while - maybe a short while, maybe a long one. I don't know yet.

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Oct 23, 2008

Tears In My Eyes

Ok, I apologize. Profusely. Because (a) this isn't the meme follow up and (b) well, you'll see why when you click the link.

For the record, I am, indeed, a 41 year old female, not a 10 year old boy.

Facts On Farts

Oh, and to whoever the person was that asked the question about halfway down inquiring what the brown spots in undies after farting are? Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! ::wipes eyes:: Thanks for the laugh.

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Oct 22, 2008

A Meme to Pass The Time

Ok, I have nothing positive to blog about so I'm falling back on the old reliable... yes, it's another meme!

1. Do you like blue cheese salad dressing? The blue cheesier the better

2. Have you ever smoked heroin? No (does one smoke heroin? I thought it got snorted??)

3. Do you own a gun? Nope

4. Your favorite drink at Starbucks or other specialty? Venti decaf 8 pump peppermint non-fat no-whip mocha

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Depends on the doctor and exactly what he or she is going to do to me.

6. What do you like on hot dogs? There's only one kind I'll eat and on that kind I put yellow mustard

7. Favorite Christmas song? It varies a lot but it's just about always classical. Right now? Quem Pastores

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Coffee, lots of coffee

9. Can you do push ups? Uh, not.

10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? I don't have a favorite but I have lots I like

What happened to number 11?

12. Do you have A.D.D.? Depends on who you ask.

13. What's one trait that you hate about yourself? I lose my temper badly and quickly

14. Middle name? Elizabeth

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment. 1) I really don't want to go to work, 2) my knee hurts, 3) my doctor is a jerk who doesn't care that my knee hurts as long as it means she doesn't have to fight with my insurance company.

16.What drinks do you regularly drink? water mostly, then coffee, then vodka

17. Current worry right now? My daughter's lack of listening skills

19. Favorite place to be? Asleep

k20. How did you bring in the New Year? You know, I don't remember what we did last year

21. Like to travel? Oh yeaahhhhH!!

22. Name three people who will complete this? I hate this question and refuse to answer

23. Do you own slippers? Yes, bunny slippers

24. What color shirt are you wearing? green

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? don't know - never tried!

26. Can you whistle? Yes

27. Favorite color? black

28. Would you be a pirate? Nah, no hot showers

29. What songs do you sing in the shower? That would assume I get a shower at a point at which I'm both awake enough and cheerful enough to sing.

30. Favorite girls' name? No favorite

31. Favorite boys' name? No real favorite here either

32. What's in your pocket right now? a wadded up Kleenex, a plastic barrette, and the bluetooth headset from my cellphone

33. Last thing that made you laugh? You know who you are even if you disagree as to what (exactly) you said... ;)

34. Best bed sheets as a child? white with flowers

35. Worst injury you've ever had? C-sections (2) - does that count?

36. Do you love where you live? No.

37. How many TVs do you have in your house? 1 (we don't have 'real' cable either, ok?)

38. Who is your loudest friend? No clue - everyone line up now and talk into this decibel meter, ok?

39. Who is your oldest friend? in terms of longest term? Maggie.

40. Does someone have a crush on you? not that I'm aware of - unless you count the cat.

41. What is your favorite book? The Lord of the Rings Trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkien, The Silmarillion by J.R.R. Tolkien, A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett, the Twilight Series by Stephenie Meyer, and, of course, Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen

42. What is your favorite candy? Butter toffee covered with chocolate

43. Favorite Sports Team? none really... sorry!!

44. What were you doing 12 AM last night? working (reading a contract to be more specific)

45. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning? PLEASE GOD LET ME HAVE SEEN THE TIME WRONG.

You know... I think herein lies my next blog post. I get these memes all the time by email. Sometimes, I get the same set of questions 3 and 4 times from the same friends. I mean, really, who cares whether I use croutons or bacon bits or both or neither?? How does that really make someone know me better? Next meme I post? Be prepared to think!!

Cheers.

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Oct 18, 2008

The Big Squish

So this morning's post comes to you from our local Starbucks, where I am thoroughly enjoying my venti decaf extra peppermint nonfat no whip mocha and a cinnamon chip scope and my freedom from people under 4' tall. Why am I at Starbucks on a lovely Saturday morning, you may ask? It's a reward from my husband for undergoing The Big Squish. (Easily squeamish/embarrassed guys should skip directly to the last paragraph now.)

To the credit of the radiology department of N*ton Diagnostic, they keep the room nice and warm, they provide fluffy terry robes for coverage, and they do their best to be gentle. But it's still weird to have someone else manipulate that particular set of appendages (and the armpits - don't forget the armpits!) into pancakes. Then, of course, there's the view. A Squished appendage of my size is kind of frightening to be honest. And, oh yes, you can indeed see the Squished appendage. The top of the Squisher is clear so they can adequately position and appropriately flatten the appendage. It's got little red markings for proper alignment of the appendage's appendage. But the part I really don't like is the armpit bit. "Here hold this handle, now drop your shoulder down and back. Now we're going to Squish the hell out of the appendage *and* whatever part of your armpit we can get ahold of."

I was lying awake last night - I went to bed about 1:30 and laid there for 1/2 hour thinking about this. John asked me if I was nervous. I was, actually. You know, it's not that I'm afraid of the discomfort - after 2 c-sections and a miscarriage (which hurt far worse than the c-sections), I can handle the Squish without a problem. It's that it really brings you face-to-face with the possibility of cancer. I read somewhere that a woman has a 1 in 8 chance of developing breast cancer in her lifetime. That's pretty damn high and, no matter how you take care of yourself (or not, in my case), you have to wonder "is this the time?" Is this the time my life changes permanently? Is this the time that I have to face that my kids may have to grow up without a mother, my husband parent without a wife? Fatalism, maybe, but still at 2 a.m., this is the sort of thing that runs through my head on the day before The Big Squish.

So, yeah, without benefit of coffee, I got Squished this morning. But now it's done for another year and I get to spend the remainder of the morning at Starbucks. Ladies, don't evade the Squish. Gentlemen, encourage the women in your life to get Squished. My mom is alive after 2 separate bouts and 2 mastectomies because she was zealous about her mammograms. The Big Squish sucks, yes, but early detection is the key.

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Oct 17, 2008

Jargon...

So, Jade, got that "window flappy" open yet?

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Oct 14, 2008

The Turnabout Intruder

Happy belated Columbus/Native American Day. Hope everyone enjoyed themselves. Life keeps plugging here.

We went to my brother's outside Wilmington, DE (about a 5 hr drive) Thursday last. My eldest refused to sleep that entire night. Friday, we drove to DC (about a 2.5 hr. drive) to see my great aunt.

Despite being over 45 minutes late, I had to pee so badly I made John stop at a hospital so I could use the bathroom (seriously, I was suspending myself over the seat so that I didn't burst in his car - he'd kill me!). Lucky I did, turns out we were more lost than we thought we were.

At any rate, Aunt Catherine is 93 and she's still plugging away. She's in a retirement community but maintains a garden and so on. Gotta love it. I hadn't seen her since my junior year in high school; it was a delightful visit. The trip home... well, let's just say the 2.5 hour drive turned into a 6 hour drive due to traffic. Then Friday night, the poor baby had a fever and didn't fall asleep until 6:30 a.m. It was funny though - not the fever, those are never funny - but she started crying an hour before we got back to my brother's and the 3 year old took it for about 5 minutes then started wailing "STOP CRYING! STOP CRYING!" I didn't know whether to have John stop in the middle of the road so we could just abandon ship and leave them there or laugh my ass off. I chose the latter. Turnabout is fair play, Miss Difficult!!

So, we're home now. My fall zing hasn't kicked in yet. Usually, my energy level and mood spike in the fall and I'm finding it kind of frustrating that they haven't yet. Soon, I hope!! Maybe then I'll blog more. I hate slog-blogging. I just figure all y'all probably have enough depressing shit in your lives that you don't need to read about mine!

I have a new piece up at the site and a WIP at the jewelry blog if anyone's interested!

Cheers all.

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Oct 8, 2008

Redhead Instead

Ok, so I've been tagged by Amanda over at Rainbow Giants to provide 7 interesting facts/things about me. Honestly, I've been feeling very boring lately so I'm not certain I can come up with 7 interesting things so, if you find these are boring rather than interesting, you've been warned.

1. I spend much of my life pretending. Pretending I'm brave; pretending I know what the fuck I'm doing; pretending I like my life/myself; pretending I'm a princess (hey, I never said I was grown up!)

2. My favorite Yankee Candle fragrances are Jack Frost and Water Garden and it (heh) frosts me no end that one can only get Jack Frost in the fall/early winter.

3. I think morning people have a superiority complex. My husband thinks this as well so it's not just me!

4. I, as you might have guessed, am not human before 10 a.m. I'm not exactly sure what I am, mind you, as that would require more awareness than I am capable of mustering at that point.

5. I worry that the other mothers in the various activities I do with my kids think I'm a bad mom. It bothers me that I worry about this.

6. I'm constantly tempted to wear my "bite me" t-shirt to the various activities I do with my kids just to offend the other mothers. I hate that the wussy ass side of me has only let me do this once or twice. (I do compensate for that, however, by wearing it to my mother's.)

7. My hair color is courtesy of Nice & Easy (no. 110 - light auburn). The color that comes out of my head is best classified as "mouse". Mouse may fit who people want me to be but it doesn't fit who I want to be so, fuck it, I'm a redhead instead. Interestingly, when my haircolor is fresh, I get all sorts of lovely compliments like "you look really well rested!" and "you look great today" so I'm pretty sure it suits me and that those people (Mom!) who think I should stick with mouse can put their comments where the 'sun don't shine'.

Well, as I said, I'm pretty sure those aren't very interesting but the baby's crying and I have 2 contracts left to review so that's all she wrote, folks!

Oh, wait, I have to tag people. I'm never any good at this. If you're up for a challenge, consider yourself tagged!!

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Oct 2, 2008

Irony Writ (Literally) Large

On my way home from choir last night, the highway's closed down from 4 lanes to 1. I'm following a vehicle plastered with militant liberal bumper stickers. Does it strike anyone else as ironic that the vehicle was a massive SUV or that the person was driving like an aggressive idiot?

Put your money where your mouth is (which, apparently, is not around meat, eggs, milk, or any other animal product) and drive a car that isn't the size of a small nation, ok?

Now, I should say that I have no problem with people eating however they choose or supporting whoever they choose (as long as they don't insist on my eating or supporting the same way) or plastering their car with bumper stickers (gives me something to read in traffic jams); my problem is with the hypocrisy.

I should also say that I'm just about as bleeding heart as they come. Which is probably why this bugs me so much. We liberals have such a bad rep anyway; let's not add hypocritical assholes to the list, ok?

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