Morning Munchkins
She stands at the table,
writing a nametag for her child and complaining.
“I am tired,” she says;
“I just want this over with.
Being pregnant sucks.”
She is not talking to me.
I had prepared for the woman
with the 3 month old.
I had forgotten the pregnant one.
I look at the ceiling,
willing the wells dry.
I look at the wall,
anywhere but at the evidence of her discomfort.
I do not throw a tantrum.
I do not throw a block or a toy or my purse.
I do not rant and scream what she cannot possibly understand:
Being pregnant is uncomfortable, yes;
but not being pregnant is far worse.
5 comments:
Are you journaling these poems? These are so moving and really speak to us that have lived this loss...It actually is healing to me to remember and come to terms through your poetry. Thank you.
So so long ago. I just barely remember those feelings proving that with time things do get better. The pregnancys I lost were totally unplanned and at first you wonder how you will cope with another child but you adapt and accept it even look forward to it. But your body has made the decision and you are helpless as you watch new life get snatched from your grasp.
I wonder: Do women who choose abortion ever deal with this? I ask only out of curiosity.
Hugs
My OB said the strongest despair after a miscarriage he's ever seen was one of his wife's friends who is a patient of his. She and her husband had 4 kids already and she conceived on the night before his vasectomy. They were shocked and horrified as first, then moved into acceptance and then to eagerly awaiting the new (and last) baby. When she lost the baby she was devastated.
In re: abortion. I've never had to make that decision, thank God, but I would venture to say it probably depends on the woman.
They are moving to those of us who have not experienced this loss as well.
Hearing someone wish away something that you wish for, those moments I think are the hardest.
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