Sep 6, 2007

A Day of Grief; A Day of Hope

As I was visiting a friend today, her sister called, distraught. The sister had just had an ultrasound that showed her baby had no heartbeat. She is, was, 9 weeks along. Right about when we lost the Baby That Wasn't. I was not prepared for the raw grief that surfaced again so quickly. How visceral the memory is of hearing the same words not a year ago.

The surreality of the situation was heightened by my trip (just prior to visiting my friend) to the doctor's office to have blood drawn to check for HCG and progesterone to see if we are, indeed, expecting again. I've had four positive pee-on-a-stick results but, as anyone who has struggled to get and stay pregnant knows, that doesn't mean squat until the doctor says your levels are good. Even then, there ain't nothin' guaranteed. You can't be sure you'll be walking out the door with a baby (ok, riding out since they insist on the wheelchair thing) until you're actually doing it.

Sometimes the circle of life spins just a little too fast to be sure which end is up.

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3 Comments:

Blogger graymama said...

I feel for your friend's sister and will send her some healing energy <3

I must say though that I had to read the "I've had four positive pee-on-a-stick results" about ten times. The excitement is building inside me, and I don't think I can keep it quiet! CONGRATS!!!!

10:59 AM  
Blogger Greta said...

i can relate to miscarriages...i had one as well I should have been 10 weeks but the baby stopped growing at 6....I am so sorry for your loss and your friends sisters loss...just stay positive (although it is hard and i still deal with issues to this day over that but that is another story) and just know god works in mysterious ways and it will work out for you

BIG HUGE HUGS !!!!!

10:23 PM  
Blogger Greta said...

oh yeah and CONGRATS TO YOU ...you will be in my prayers

10:24 PM  

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