Aug 12, 2009

When Does Parenting Become Fun?

I had to leave music class today 2 songs in because Katie was being so disruptive (despite multiple warnings and a stern discussion before class) it just wasn't fair to the other kids n the class.

Now, granted, I think too much. But, in thinking too much today, I believe I've hit on why I get so very angry with Katie when she gets in these long, long spells of rotten behavior: she takes every drop of joy there could be out of parenting.

I want to like her. I want to have fun with her. I want to share the things I see that I find cool. I want to take her neat places and giggle together. Her behavior precludes it. I have to be the hardass every minute and it gets wearing. If I'd wanted to be a drill sergeant, I'd've enlisted.

I really want to like her and it makes me very, very sad that I don't.

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Blogger LauraJ said...

I'm sorry you're having these feeings. Big big hugs!
If it's any consolation I don't always like my boy either.

10:17 PM  
Blogger PeppyPilotGirl said...

Actually, LJ, it is some consolation. I'm surrounded by gung ho "ain't parenting wonderful?!" folks so I can't help wondering sometimes what's wrong with *me*!

10:25 PM  
Blogger JerseyTjej said...

Who said parenting is wonderful..I sometimes tell my husband I would rather be a eunuch in a whorehouse than somebodies mamma...I often don't like my kids, especially the older ones, because they KNOW better. I tried the try to harp on what they are doing right technique, I tried timeout, I tried restricting their activities all to no avail... I then began to enroll them in activities that drained the shit out of their batteries...Juco, karate, soccer, it it was in motion, they were in it...
Took the air out of everybodies sails, real quick, lol! They were so damn tired, they were begging to stay home!

7:50 AM  
Anonymous G said...

sorry for all of the typo's but to this day, they still MUST do one sport or activity that meets 2 days a week.

Payback is a bitch, but revenge is a mess with the bull, you get the horns, LOL!!!
SEE? Parents can extract revenge!

7:53 AM  
Blogger Brightdreamer said...

Hopefully, this too shall pass.

Or you can go down to Hallmark and beat the stuffing out of them for their stupid, lame-arse attitude towards motherhood.

(Not that the two options are mutually exclusive...)

Stupid question, but have you kept track of what she's eating when she's in these fits? I remember hearing/reading somewhere that food allergies can be linked to behavior issues, especially in kids... ultimate longshot, I know, but if all else fails maybe it's something to look into...

subor - Internet/texting fad word, meaning "super boring."

7:03 PM  
Blogger smileymamaT said...

Yep I remember that, it was right about the time my now-16-yr-old girl was about 5, and I also had a 2-yr old, and a 3rd baby on the way, and I was so damn tired that I had a really hard time enjoying and spending quality time or even playing with and loving her (the oldest)... I remember that.. sometimes it felt like a lot of correction and "raising" and not enough "relaxing and enjoying"... and I had talks with myself (telling myself to go lay down for 5 minutes or anything to gather my wits) really did pass. And she is a really sweet kid and I'm glad she does not remember my "mean bear mommy" years, and it seriously will pass. And I'm glad your OB kicks ass.

7:32 PM  
Blogger Jade said...

There are days... weeks... sometimes months on end where I feel like I'm just a broken record of rule recitation. Those moms who all say "ain't parenting grand"?!? are simply not talking about their bad days, or the times their kids misbehave.

We all have those days. All of us.

G was like that a lot, particularly at that age where she could understand and express herself, but still hadn't grasped the concept of just where exactly my last straw resided, and what would happen when she broke it.

The instruction-giving will unfortunately be perpetual for you - but as she gets older and feels the impact of consequences she'll get better at remembering rules and proper behavior. Just don't give up! You are frustrated right now, but the effort you put in will result in a wonderful little girl that you *do* enjoy parenting.

3:45 PM  
Blogger graymama said...

When I read this, my heart went out to you. There are many days where I don't enjoy The Boy, and then I feel guilty about it because I am blessed to have him.

I have found that the "isn't parenting wonderful" types I have met don't actually parent, so it is easy.

During the hard patches, I try to catch a few moments here and there to make it all right. Like today I hugged The Boy for 3 minutes, which was wonderful <3 Ten minutes later he was calling me an idiot, stupid and told me I was fired. Those 3 minutes of cuddle time made the bad moment not seem so bad.

{{{{BIG HUGS}}}}

6:16 PM  
Blogger PeppyPilotGirl said...

Thanks so much, everyone. It really helps to know that I'm not alone in my frustration.

9:08 PM  
Anonymous h. said...

Oh PPG, I hope you aren't referring to me and my parenting. 'Cause I've totally been there. I just tend to cling to the positive bits, and try to smother the bad bits (not the children, but the experiences).

I find the odd numbered years to be the tough ones in our house. I suck up the goodness of four, six, and 8, and hold on tight for the drama and trauma of 5, 7, and 9.

With my older daughter, her 7th year was a twelve month struggle. I wanted to throttle her almost constantly. It made our struggles at 5 (like the time, in a moment of tantrum inspired rage, I dragged her 200 pound bookcase out of her room) seem sweet and idyllic.

I can already feel the 7 year slump edging up on me with my little one. Two weeks ago I found myself saying "I love you very much, but right now I don't like being with you." about once a day to her. Oh it made me sick inside, but it was so, so true!

10:36 PM  

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