Apr 18, 2006

High Dudgeon

Have you ever noticed how hard it is to stop being cross? Even when you know you're being cross and you know it's just making people around you not want to be around you which is making you even more cross, it's really difficult to stop. The world has it in for me. It always has. It always will.

It's so wonderfully, awfully delicious to sink into a gray and skulking dungeon of general crankiness. The world has it in for me. It always has. It always will. Meanwhile, the world starts noticing the cumulonimbus skirting your hairline and withdraws. See? The world has it in for me. It always has. It always will.

It so addictive to wallow in the slovenly mud of self-debasement. Even knowing that I am doing it to myself, I continue to strain to hear the drumbeat. The world has it in for me. It always has. It always will.

3 Comments:

Blogger Brightdreamer said...

Yep, been there, done that. It's not just the original thing that ticks you off, it's the principle of being ticked off, and how nobody seems to acknowledge, care, or understand how ticked off you are, that starts ticking you off. The world can be a big, nasty, vendictive place sometimes. If it gets too big, too nasty, or too vendictive, though, I hope you have somewhere to go or someone to talk to to help you get past the great grey slump. Great grey slumps don't always go away on their own.

Anyway, sorry to read that you're having communication problems at home. Family can be like that... even family by marriage. I don't suppose it's feasable for you to take some personal time away from home, but is there anywhere you can go to clear your head, if only for a few hours or a day, just by yourself? Failing that, Drax says he's available for rear-end scorching and skull thwacking.

1:45 AM  
Blogger peppypilotgirl said...

You know - you hit the nail right on its proverbial head. It's the not acknowledging, caring, or understanding that really sets it off!!

Things have improved today but I may very well take Drax up on his rear-end scorching abilities/offer in the future!!

10:46 AM  
Blogger graymama said...

When I feel like shit, I tell Hubby I have to take a shit. I sit in the bathroom with a pillow, reading a book for 15-30 minutes, and I come out refreshed. Hubby thinks I just had a challenging bowel movement. Of course, I have to remember to flush my non-existent poop because I almost forgot one time, and how would I explain that?!

I think we all know what those dark moments are like. Hang in there!

11:59 AM  

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