Apr 25, 2006

You Know, To Be King You Don't Need A Castle

I was on the way to the grocery, by myself (this is what passes for fun in my life these days!), listening to the Bosstones. And this song came up. Everybody's better than I am; I think everybody's better than me. And I'm thinking to myself, how sad it is that people get so down on themselves.

Not 1/2 hr. later, I'm washing the baby's bottles in the sink and pondering how, while my brother, sister, and I all have pretty good voices, my brother and sister are better than I am.

Add all this to graymama's post at the beauty of gray (link at sidebar) earlier today about making judgments and my reply to same that we need to make judgments to survive but that we should endeavor to make them based upon facts and not emotion.

Mix and stir, stir and mix.

I'm not sure that's possible. I think self-judgment is inherently unreliable. Either we think too ill or too well of ourselves -- and sometimes both, depending on the area we are assessing.

Everybody's acting like I don't matter; everybody's in on the act. Too many of them to avoid, it could be that I'm paranoid. I matter, as a matter of fact.

As a tangent to this, I was marveling at irony in how it often seems that things we are fondest of doing are often not the things we are best at. And the things we are best at are often the things we like least to do. Just doesn't seem quite fair.


Blogger graymama said...

From my trip ramblings with Hubby, to your thought provoking responses, my mind is still whirling on this one. I do think that some judgments are good in the case of negative behaviors. It is good to know that murder, rape, etc... are bad. Or in the case of Buddy, that hitting others is not a good choice.

The Merriam-Webster definition of prejudice illustrates how judgments can go awry.

I feel that personally I am my own worst enemy when it comes to ill judgments of myself.

I try my hardest not to judge the decisions of others on a daily basis, but sometimes that skirts the line of judging in itself.

People often will judge without truly discerning and comparing, and then we act as though our opinion has a certain level of authority or expertise behind it, when in actuality this is not true.

So much more I could say as my wheels continue to turn and process. I don't know that there is a "right" answer to this one.

Thanks so much for mixing and stirring in your thoughts! :-)

6:10 PM  
Blogger Jade said...

I had a similar round of discussion in my head on my trip to Montana. I've heard horrid stories of my aunts but honestly never believed them because they came from my mom, and Mom is Judgemental if nothing else. Then I met the head Aunt, and man... Mom was right! The thing is, I take her with a grain of salt and try to remember that she had a hard life, that's why she is whacked, and I'll probably never have to deal with her again anyway. Mom can't, because there is too much history that she can't let go of.

It was easy for me to suggest she bury the past, but then I started thinking about my Idiot Sister. Could I bury the past with her, or would I make the same assumptions? (She lies every time she talks, she thinks she is entitled to hand outs from everyone) The Idiot is exactly like the Head Aunt, and I can't blame my mom for holding onto the past.

When someone lies to you 99.999% of the time, what do you do? Assuming they are lying makes me feel like I'm prejudging, but giving them the benifit of the doubt after such a history makes me feel like a fool.

2:05 PM  

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