Bringing Everyone Up To Date

Ok, the monster blog post... So, let's see where were we before I left off...

The holidays:
Christmas. We went to my sister's for Christmas. She lives just outside of Syracuse, NY so you'd think we'd be guaranteed a nice, white, Lake-effect, Christmas but nope. They've been just as oddly warm as we have. We had a lovely time: Katie enjoyed playing in conjunction with her cousin TJ. People seemed to really like what I got them and, for the first time in many years, I liked what I was given. I would not, however, recommend going to a long church service with two toddlers under 18 months old. Distinctly not a spiritual experience. We ate far too much. Katie learned the word "cookie" in less than 24 hours. (She makes the sign for cracker and says "coo-coo". It was quite adorable except that for the 2 weeks after we got back, she did it approximately 15-20x an hour.)

New Year's. We got back from Syracuse on Tuesday and John and I left for Boston on Saturday. Yes, we left our molar-teething toddler with my parents and we got a weekend away BY OURSELVES. It was absolutely wonderful. The Omni Parker House is the nation's oldest continuously operating hotel, they say; it's beautiful and the staff is unfailingly pleasant, knowledgeable, and efficient. The food was good and the hotel bars both stocked my favorite vodka - what more can I ask?!! We ate at the hotel restaurant one night (honest-to-goodness Parker House rolls!) and at McCormick & Schmick's in Quincy Market the next. Upon our return, my sister asked what we'd done while we were gone. We slept. Ate, drank, and slept. Sunday morning, we read the Globe in bed until 11 a.m. It was absolutely decadent. We did eventually get up, have lunch at Durgin Park, and head to the MFA. And then came back to the hotel and slept some more. It was the nicest weekend I can remember having - ever.

Since New Year's. We've passed our second cycle since the miscarriage and it's time to start trying again. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I both want to get pregnant and am scared to. I am more determined than ever to have another child but I am afraid that it may not be meant to be. I guess only time will tell.

It was crazy when we got back. I was so behind on so many things (all that travel plays havoc with the "to do" list). But we got the Christmas stuff all put away (on a day that was 72°F - let me tell you, it is very surreal to be wearing a tank top and having all the windows open whilst one puts away one's Christmas decorations!!) and I am slowly starting to get caught up. I still need to make all the holiday bread I was supposed to make for people the weekend before Christmas that we all had the stomach flu. (Oh yeah, the weekend before Christmas, we all had the stomach flu.) But I have gotten my sister's birthday gift finished as you have seen and I've finished the baby blanket I started for Katie over a year ago. (Now I have to make a matching one for her new (old) dollbed.)

A word on the dollbed. I, personally, think it's really cool that the dollbed Katie will have was made by her great-great grandfather for her great grandmother. My dad sanded it down and repainted it for her. In fact, most of her (eventual) doll furniture will be refurbished family pieces. I just think that's really, really cool.

What else did I say I would cover? Oh, ok (went to check)... new year's resolutions and the upcoming year.

I don't think I want to call them resolutions. I think goals is a better term. My goals this year are:

1) To be the best parent and spouse I can be. Granted, this is a little vague - too bad!
2) To finish the poetry book and get a grant to have a bunch of them printed. This engenders of course a lot of little goals in between: take more photographs, assemble the book, learn how to find grants, learn how to write a grant request, work out the details of distribution, etc.
3) Join the prayer shawl ministry at our church.
4) Find more time for myself so that I don't become a nasty, resentful meanie.

You'll note that my two alltime most common "resolutions" aren't on there: lose weight and have a baby. Lose weight isn't on there because, basically, I've realized I can only focus on so much and I refuse to ask more sacrifice of what I enjoy. Have a baby isn't on there because to make it a goal would imply that it is under my control. Now, to a certain extent it is, i.e., if I don't have marital relations, I will not be getting pregnant. But, when it comes down to it, after all the fertility struggles and the miscarriage, I've realized that *I* am not in control of whether we get pregnant, God/The Universe/Love is. And that's that.

So, there we are - one monster post to keep you, um, er, entertained for a bit... no? not entertained? Um. Sorry about that!