Nov 11, 2006

I Was a Jewish Mother in Another Lifetime

You'd think that, this being my second pregnancy, I would be more calm about it. Nope. In fact, I think I'm more nervous this time than the last time. Maybe it's because I know so much more now about what can go wrong.
  • I worry that I'm not queasy all over the place.
  • I worry that I'm jinxing my baby by being secretly relieved that I'm not queasy all over the place.
It's kind of ironic that I was actually relieved to have a very nasty bout of nausea on Tuesday that made me lay with my face on the nice, cool floor for almost an hour until the world stopped spinning.
  • I worry that, when I went to the OB for the first time, the baby was so small he thinks we were a week off on the conception date.
I know we didn't have, um, relations that following week so if he's right, it means old sperm which could mean all sorts of things.
  • I worry that he could barely see the baby even with an internal ultrasound.
What if it's not developing?!
  • I worry that my age is going to be an even greater factor this time in the prenatal development (I'll be 40 in April).
I mean, we got lucky the first time - no neural tube defects, no age-related issues (so far) for Little Girl - what are the chances we'll get lucky again?

Somehow, the typical worries of having a second child (how will Little Girl adapt, do we really have the energy to have 2, what if we get a colicky baby this time, etc.) aren't bugging me nearly as much as the irrational ones. I think this all relates to the fact that we had a much easier time getting pregnant this time. It took only a year (and not 3+). It just feels too easy.

Of course, I'm probably jinxing myself by saying that. We'll probably wind up with twins or something (the chance of which goes up as the mother ages). Ack!! Can you even imagine??

I worry, too, that my posts aren't more intellectual and are more of an emotional burp. Sorry about that!

Word of advice: If you are mourning a pet, don't go cruising at until you know you're ready to bring another one home. Or, if you decide to anyway, have a large box of tissues at hand.


Blogger smileymamaT said...

I rather enjoy your emotional burps. :) Worrying is normal. If you weren't worrying this much, you's only worry that you weren't worrying as much as you are now! Um...where was I? Ha! Oh yes...You go ahead and worry as little or as much as you want. Oh, and put a banana and a granola bar and an umbrella and some string and an orange and a spare pair of socks and a few other food items in your purse. There. Now you are officially a Jewish mother in this lifetime, too.
(Hi, Mom!!)

2:30 PM  
Blogger JerseyTjej said...

Worry is good for you...I think!?
I was panicking about our impending adoption to the degree that I began talking with the foster family...BAD thing to do1 It just made me realize that I cannot wait for my life to change again and I realize I am gonna continue to age and change regardless of whether the family gets larger or not! Keep worrying, LOL!

4:51 AM  
Anonymous harriet said...

I agree with the above about worrying. It's an underrated activity that gives you something to do to prepare yourself. Just keep it to reasonable amounts if you can. And hang int here -- you're doing great!

7:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just another opinion. :o) Worry is not good for you because it accomplishes nothing. It changes nothing. It only makes the worrier a wreck with stress and anxiety. Again, I ain't saying I have a handle on worry free living but I'm trying to learn to turn all worry to prayer. Prayer accomplishes things. Prayer changes things and if not things, then it changes you. I have to constantly remind myself that God loves my children more than I do. Therefore, He knows better what they need in their lives.

"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Many hugs to you my friend.

2:57 PM  

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