Ok, as discussed at the bottom of the last meme I posted, I've answered all the memes but, honestly, no one (except me) really cares whether I eat blue cheese (I do - I love it) or whether I prefer pink or red, diamonds or pearls, winter or summer. If we really want to know our friends better, shouldn't we be asking different questions? So I wrote some. Then I answered them and I'm hoping you'll do the same. I'll warn you, these are harder to answer but, honestly, I think they're more important.
1. What is your ultimate goal in life? Are you working toward it? If so, how is your progress? If not, why not?
To be the best person I can be. It's pretty broad, I know. I started to put "to be happy with myself" but, honestly, I want more than that from myself. I want to make the most of what God has given me (music, creativity, writing) and constantly push to be better in the things I'm not so skilled at (patience, self-care, parenting (i.e., patience). I am constantly working on these. I've made some progress. Like many things in my life, I wish it was more but I am seeing improvement and, for now, I'm learning to be happy with a slow, steady climb.
2. What would you die for? Why (or why not)?
I would die for my kids. I've had a chance at life, whatever the length may be at that particular point; they haven't. I'd like to think I'd die for 'truth, justice, and the American way' but I pretty sure that'd be a game time decision and based on a lot more factors. If I did, it would probably be because I have more balls than brains sometimes ("Son, your ego's writing checks your body can't cash!").
3. Is it more important to you to be right or to be liked? Why?
It used to be far more important for me to be liked, primarily because I was distinctly unpopular through elementary/middle/most of high school. As I get older, I'm realizing being liked isn't as important as it once was - for example, it is more important to me to DO what is right than to be liked. I'd still rather be liked than win an argument at all costs though.
4. Who do you look up to most and what has he/she taught you? (This person does not need to be still living.)
My grandma Pundt. She was probably the world's most patient and loving person. As Mom used to say, "she wouldn't say boo if she had a mouthful". To the extreme, that can be a bad thing. But what I am still learning from her, though she's been gone for several years, is that nobody likes a whiner and, just because things suck, I don't have to bitch about it. (This is why sometimes I don't post for several weeks, being rather prone to depression.)
5. What is the worst thing that ever happened to you in your life and how does it affect you today?
Two things. One a specific event, one a more generalized thing that had an even more broadreaching impact. First, the obvious one: as many of you know, I lost a baby. As anyone who has can tell you, it affects you in ways you can't even imagine. Still, I think my pariah status in grammar school affected me even more... it certainly shaped who I am as an adult. I don't like people much and I trust almost no one. If there's a way for me to interpret something as being 'against' me, I will. If someone is nice to me, my first thought is "what do they want from me" and my second is "when is the shoe going to drop". Something about having people be nice to you just so they can later kick you in the crotch/flush your purse in the toilet (yes, both happened - in elementary school) and humiliate you in front of large groups of people does that, you know?
6. Ditto for the best thing.
My husband. We've known each other nearly 16 years and been married 11 1/2. He's seen me at my best and at my worst. We have our issues - everyone does - but he is an unending booster for all my efforts. It's taken a while but I've learned I can trust that he loves me and isn't looking to humiliate me or tear me down somehow. And there is something really wonderful about that.
7. What is your favorite book and why?
I don't think I can narrow it down to one but here are a few. A Little Princess, Frances Hodgson Burnett - who wouldn't love to wake up from the drudgery of their daily life and find out they were really a diamond heiress? And the writing is so evocative; her descriptions are wonderful. Pride & Prejudice, Jane Austen - a heroine I'd like to be. Again, the language is delightful. The Lord of the Rings / The Silmarillion, J. R. R. Tolkien - between the languages, the epic stories, the mythic nature, and the elves, it's a world I happily lose myself in at least annually.
8. What would be your ideal day? What would you do? What would you eat? Would you be with people or by yourself?
My ideal day varies but since I have to pick one... I'd sleep late, then get up and laze on the couch with a giant plate of cookies and a stack of books. When I got bored with reading, I'd go down to my jewelry bench and beat some metal for a while, then back up and order delivery boneless chicken wings (garlic parmesan), maybe play the piano some, then read and/or write until late into the night when I'd take a hot bubble bath, drink a martini, and snuggle down to bed and finish with a little conversation and good sex. I would be alone until bed. The only time I get alone is the drive to/from rehearsal and church. That's it. I'm an Introvert (and the capital was intentional) and I need my cave and I don't get it.
9. Do you need to do anything so badly that it makes you a bit crazy if you can't for some reason? What is it?
I need to create. These day it's jewelry or writing but it's been any number of things. I need to bring something from nothing by working with my hands. Unfortunately, I get very little time to do it (creativity requires focus which is impossible when interrupted every 5 minutes).
10. Is there any part (physical, mental, spiritual, etc.) of you that, if you lost it, it might not be worth going on?
I was having real troubles with my voice at one point and they thought I might need to have my thyroid out. This is a tricky surgery for singers as, if the surgeon is even a little off, it can have disastrous effects on your voice (witness Julie Andrews). Who I am is so inextricably linked with music and singing, I'm not sure how I would continue without being able to sing. Now, this was before I had my kids so I doubt now that it would have that effect but it sure would take the joy out of life.
11. What do you believe in - the sort of belief that goes to your very soul?
I believe in God - not a little old man with a big beard on a throne ready to can my sorry ass but what Susan Sowerby in The Secret Garden called the "Great Good Thing", the source of love, blessings, and, if we ask, guidance. I believe in being kind, giving people second chances. I also believe in whupping a little ass if it needs it. I believe in being honest, within reason (white lies are ok). I believe that, if you can love yourself, you've accomplished more than 90% of the people out there (I'm one of the 90%, mind you). I believe that most of my friends undervalue themselves immensely. I believe that some things are worth fighting for, that justice is important but that forgiveness is too. I believe that one's own house should be in order before one tackles other people's houses.
12. Do you have a creed/code/quote that you live by (or try to live by)? What is it?
There's a quote from Anne Shirley (the Anne of Anne of Green Gables) where she says she'd just like to leave the world a more beautiful place for having been in it. Me too.
Let's make this a baker's dozen and add one final one...
13. If you had to sum yourself up for someone in 10 words or less, what would you say?
"My life flows on in endless song above Earth's lamentations."
or, if you'd prefer descriptive words... creative, determined, loving, fierce, kind, multi-faceted, thoughtful, curious, eccentric, introvert
Happy New Year, everyone - Tag, you're it! (And if you missed the Christmas pics - see below!)
Dec 31, 2008
Dec 30, 2008
A Christmas Season Pictorial
Ok, it was a crazy December and I wasn't here much because I was singing with 3 choirs, getting ready for/hosting a massive party, and doing all the typical "mom" stuff that has to get done. So, I'm going to make up for it with one gynormous post...
Christmas Season started the day after Thanksgiving with getting the tree. Katie was in a pissy mood. Really, really wretchedly pissy. Fortunately, it was a nice day and we found a nice tree. It wasn't nearly as scraggly as it looks in the picture.
That night, we (sans the baby) went with my sister, her husband, and her younger son to the Constitution Plaza lighting. It's not often you find someone taller than my 6'6" BIL but 2 such people were standing directly ahead of us.
Next came the clean up of the house. This included cleaning up the grotesque remnants of the Great Pumpkin Massacre. Fortunately, the culprit was discovered if not apprehended...
It took a couple of days but I got that tree decorated to within an inch of its life. Wait a minute, maybe that's an inch over its life? Poor thing. It will go to the town to be mulched (our town will pick up your tree for free - saves on the town mulch bill!)
I posited that, if I were to find a little tree for my 3 year old that she would leave my tree alone. Coupled with a stringent "you touch Mommy's tree, you get an automatic time out", it actually worked. Fortunately, the tree was virtually free.
And, of course, the poor kid came down with her first ear infection a couple days later. (I consider us very lucky, though, to have gotten to 3 without having an ear infection!)
Visiting Santa didn't go so well though. Poor Daddy.
I never get a good picture of the party set up with all the food in place and the guests not there. Sigh. Of course, I guess if I were a little more on the ball it would help!
Once the party was over, I embarked on a mission. My mother, you see, has a habit of leaving unwanted objects in other people's homes. In this instance, she left a picture painted by my grandfather at my brother's. Ok, most of my grandfather's paintings are quite good but this one? Well, still life wasn't his genre. So, I was given the mission, which I gladly accepted with a distinctly evil chortle, to sneak this painting back into my parents' house. It took me nearly a year but it now hangs in the back of my mother's closet where, presumably, she will one day discover it. Heh heh heh...
Ok, this next one has no bearing on my December except that I took the picture in December and it captures rather how I feel about life at the moment.
Then, on the 19th, it started snowing and didn't stop until the evening of the 21st. Our snowblower, of course, is still in the shop missing a part they can't get. Now, granted, the guy came and plowed a couple of times since it was his fault the snowblower wasn't repaired (he's had it since April) but we still got stuck at the end of the driveway at least 5 times (John once - me four times - my car sits lower). All told, in our yard, we measured 16". There were about 8" when these photos were taken.
So, finally, the party's out of the way, two different Lessons & Carols services have been sung and are out of the way, it's time to wrap. Katie notices a teeny tiny present and inquires. I tell her it's for Maddie (her babydoll). She wants to show it to Maddie. Ok, I say. A few minutes later, she says "Maddie's going to stay here and look at it, ok?" "Ok, Katie." When I saw the doll later, I thought I was going to pee my pants. That package wasn't going anywhere for the watch that doll had on it!
And, on Christmas Eve, Maddie's (and Katie's) wait was rewarded. (If you or your child (or your doll) want one of these crowns - check out Marsbarn's Etsy shop! They're adjustable in size and reversible!)
\
And, yes, didn't you all want to see what I look like after a long Advent of song? This is Christmas Eve.
And Christmas Day (after singing three more services that morning with rehearsal starting at 7:20 a.m.) (Greta, that's Idol Eyes and Prankster on the lid with Non-Conformist and Frostlite liner - LOL!).
I hope you all had a lovely holiday and I wish you and yours all the best for 2009!
Christmas Season started the day after Thanksgiving with getting the tree. Katie was in a pissy mood. Really, really wretchedly pissy. Fortunately, it was a nice day and we found a nice tree. It wasn't nearly as scraggly as it looks in the picture.
That night, we (sans the baby) went with my sister, her husband, and her younger son to the Constitution Plaza lighting. It's not often you find someone taller than my 6'6" BIL but 2 such people were standing directly ahead of us.
Next came the clean up of the house. This included cleaning up the grotesque remnants of the Great Pumpkin Massacre. Fortunately, the culprit was discovered if not apprehended...
It took a couple of days but I got that tree decorated to within an inch of its life. Wait a minute, maybe that's an inch over its life? Poor thing. It will go to the town to be mulched (our town will pick up your tree for free - saves on the town mulch bill!)
I posited that, if I were to find a little tree for my 3 year old that she would leave my tree alone. Coupled with a stringent "you touch Mommy's tree, you get an automatic time out", it actually worked. Fortunately, the tree was virtually free.
And, of course, the poor kid came down with her first ear infection a couple days later. (I consider us very lucky, though, to have gotten to 3 without having an ear infection!)
Visiting Santa didn't go so well though. Poor Daddy.
I never get a good picture of the party set up with all the food in place and the guests not there. Sigh. Of course, I guess if I were a little more on the ball it would help!
Once the party was over, I embarked on a mission. My mother, you see, has a habit of leaving unwanted objects in other people's homes. In this instance, she left a picture painted by my grandfather at my brother's. Ok, most of my grandfather's paintings are quite good but this one? Well, still life wasn't his genre. So, I was given the mission, which I gladly accepted with a distinctly evil chortle, to sneak this painting back into my parents' house. It took me nearly a year but it now hangs in the back of my mother's closet where, presumably, she will one day discover it. Heh heh heh...
Ok, this next one has no bearing on my December except that I took the picture in December and it captures rather how I feel about life at the moment.
Then, on the 19th, it started snowing and didn't stop until the evening of the 21st. Our snowblower, of course, is still in the shop missing a part they can't get. Now, granted, the guy came and plowed a couple of times since it was his fault the snowblower wasn't repaired (he's had it since April) but we still got stuck at the end of the driveway at least 5 times (John once - me four times - my car sits lower). All told, in our yard, we measured 16". There were about 8" when these photos were taken.
So, finally, the party's out of the way, two different Lessons & Carols services have been sung and are out of the way, it's time to wrap. Katie notices a teeny tiny present and inquires. I tell her it's for Maddie (her babydoll). She wants to show it to Maddie. Ok, I say. A few minutes later, she says "Maddie's going to stay here and look at it, ok?" "Ok, Katie." When I saw the doll later, I thought I was going to pee my pants. That package wasn't going anywhere for the watch that doll had on it!
And, on Christmas Eve, Maddie's (and Katie's) wait was rewarded. (If you or your child (or your doll) want one of these crowns - check out Marsbarn's Etsy shop! They're adjustable in size and reversible!)
\
And, yes, didn't you all want to see what I look like after a long Advent of song? This is Christmas Eve.
And Christmas Day (after singing three more services that morning with rehearsal starting at 7:20 a.m.) (Greta, that's Idol Eyes and Prankster on the lid with Non-Conformist and Frostlite liner - LOL!).
I hope you all had a lovely holiday and I wish you and yours all the best for 2009!
Dec 22, 2008
Motion Denied, Counsel
Said by a 3 year old desirous of moving her stepstool from the side of the island near the racks of cooling cookies to the front of the island where her mother is working (a move previously denied by her mother)...
"If vis [the stepstool] gets near the cookies, vey may fall down and break vemselves. That would be a sad fing!"
Part 3 year old, part lawyer.
"If vis [the stepstool] gets near the cookies, vey may fall down and break vemselves. That would be a sad fing!"
Part 3 year old, part lawyer.
Dec 15, 2008
She Is...
Written for a friend about her mother. Her mom, by the way, sounds like the mom I wish I had and the mom I want to be.
She Is
She is
indomitable,
intrepid,
undeniable.
She is
a force to be
reckoned
with.
She is
the adult I want
to be.
She is
enduring,
engaging,
stalwart.
She is
nowhere to be
found;
she is with
me
minutes after
I call.
She is
the mother I want
to be.
She is
spirited,
spunky,
amazing.
She has
my
heart.
She is
my
all.
She is
everything I want
to be.
She Is
She is
indomitable,
intrepid,
undeniable.
She is
a force to be
reckoned
with.
She is
the adult I want
to be.
She is
enduring,
engaging,
stalwart.
She is
nowhere to be
found;
she is with
me
minutes after
I call.
She is
the mother I want
to be.
She is
spirited,
spunky,
amazing.
She has
my
heart.
She is
my
all.
She is
everything I want
to be.
Dec 11, 2008
Steal Away, Steal Away
Steal away to Jesus...
My friend, Ann, has battled breast cancer for years on and off. I sang with Ann for years in the Springfield Symphony Chorus - we both being part of the cadre of BRAs (back row altos), known mostly for a rather insouciant attitude (though dedicated musicians) and our irreverent parodies at the SSC banquet at the end of each season - until I moved to Connecticut and she moved to Virginia. Ann sang also for years at the Berkshire Choral Festival each summer. She even made it up there this summer and, by all accounts, had a great time though she was exhausted at the end.
I got a call from her husband this afternoon. A week and a half ago, she decided that the chemo was just too much and it was time to let go. They moved her up to the 4th floor (hospice) and made her comfortable as possible. Tuesday afternoon, she lost her battle. She was in her early 60s and leaves a husband, grown children, and an adorable set of grandchildren.
She was a woman who loved her family, loved her music, and loved her God. I know that she, truly, has stolen away to Jesus and I rejoice for her in that. It is for us, we left here, I mourn.
Rest in peace, my friend. Know you are loved and missed and ever will be.
My friend, Ann, has battled breast cancer for years on and off. I sang with Ann for years in the Springfield Symphony Chorus - we both being part of the cadre of BRAs (back row altos), known mostly for a rather insouciant attitude (though dedicated musicians) and our irreverent parodies at the SSC banquet at the end of each season - until I moved to Connecticut and she moved to Virginia. Ann sang also for years at the Berkshire Choral Festival each summer. She even made it up there this summer and, by all accounts, had a great time though she was exhausted at the end.
I got a call from her husband this afternoon. A week and a half ago, she decided that the chemo was just too much and it was time to let go. They moved her up to the 4th floor (hospice) and made her comfortable as possible. Tuesday afternoon, she lost her battle. She was in her early 60s and leaves a husband, grown children, and an adorable set of grandchildren.
She was a woman who loved her family, loved her music, and loved her God. I know that she, truly, has stolen away to Jesus and I rejoice for her in that. It is for us, we left here, I mourn.
Rest in peace, my friend. Know you are loved and missed and ever will be.
Nov 27, 2008
Promise of Living
I am thankful...
That my poor exhausted 3 year old is sleeping soundly after a rough evening
That both children are (basically) healthy and happy and growing/developing well
For my poor husband that just went back in to work at 9:35 on Thanksgiving night to try to make this self-employment thing keep working
For those that keep our world safe despite the fact that it often means they have to work holidays
For tasty food, solid shelter, plentiful clean hot water, and flush toilets
That neither I nor anyone I love is in Mumbai
That none of my family, including me, have yet been laid off
That gas is half what it was at the beginning of the summer
That the waistband on my pants is looser than it was a month ago
For my new gloves that do not have holes in the fingertips
For winning the November prize at the Jewelry Making Forums
For my church job and being asked to sing Christmas Day at my home church
For the people who have been so supportive of my singing - my AWCD, Pam, my AVT, Christine, my beloved late voice teacher, Jacquelyn Jarret, and my husband
For music
For joy
For laughter so hard I start coughing
For the times I don't hit myself though I feel like it
For those perfect nights when there's a hint of magic in the air and I feel so connected with the earth and the universe that everything seems possible.
That learning is a continual process and I get to keep doing it
For a place to express myself
For a means to express myself
And for you... all my blog friends... whose comments mean a whole heck of a lot to me as does the gift of your time in reading whatever nonsense I'm currently spewing out - Amanda, Betty, Carol Sue, DreamLurker, FoxPhile, Graymama, Greta, Harriet, IWOM, Jade, JerseyTjej, LauraJ, Marsbarn, Raindog, SmileyMamaT, Willow (gone but not forgotten!), and everyone who stops by here.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.
~~~~
*The Promise of Living, The Tender Land, Aaron Copland
This was the recessional at our wedding. The ending 'verse' goes...
Give thanks for the sunshine
Give thanks for the rain
Give thanks we have hands to deliver the grain
Oh let us be joyful
Oh let us be grateful
To the Lord for his blessing
(Oh let us sing our song
And let our song be heard
Let's sing our song, with our hearts
and find a promise in that song.)
The promise of living
The promise of growing
The promise of ending
is labor and sharing and loving.
Nov 25, 2008
New (brief) post up at Keep the Geek.
In other news...
In other news...
- the solos at both churches on Sunday went well (solo trio in William Walton's Jubilate Deo at Center Church and the opening and (near) closing solos in Chilcott's Loving Shepherd (at the cantor stand even) at P&A).
- the trip I was going to be making to the PNW this spring has been killed by my 3 year old's dance recital schedule. To say I'm disappointed is an exceeding understatement.
- the cold that I managed to stave off so that I could sing the solos is arriving but that's ok, better now than Sunday last.
Nov 22, 2008
Of Inspirational Phrases.
A phrase I heard once is dancing at the periphery of my consciousness - “if God brings you to it, God will bring you through it" - these days. I can’t disprove it as, well, God has brought me to a whole boatload of “its” and I’m still alive. You’ll note, however, the saying does not say “will bring you through it unscathed” or “happy” or even “unchanged”. It promises nothing but that the sufferer of “it” will continue and there are a lot worse things out there than dead, many of which leave you praying for dead instead. This isn’t helping my mood any, is it? Guess I’ll try to leave that one alone and go back to “This, too, shall pass.” It’s a little more certain.
Nov 21, 2008
These Boots Are Made For Walking
So far today, in separate incidents, my 3 year old has clocked me in the temple with a sneaker (hard enough to leave a bruise) and had to be carried out under my arm from a playdate (without her coat on) screaming.
Bet you wish I'd stayed on blog sabbatical, huh?
Bet you wish I'd stayed on blog sabbatical, huh?
Nov 12, 2008
Two Years
Two years.
Two years since life as I know it
changed.
Immeasurably,
completely,
in perpetuity.
Two years since I began
describing my
children
as "one living, one lost".
Two years
has served to merely
dull
the searing knife of pain
that will
never
truly vanish
though the phrase has
now
become "two living, one lost".
I do not know
if the life that
left us
was male or female.
I know only
that my heart holds
it
him
her
until the end
of
my own.
Two years since life as I know it
changed.
Immeasurably,
completely,
in perpetuity.
Two years since I began
describing my
children
as "one living, one lost".
Two years
has served to merely
dull
the searing knife of pain
that will
never
truly vanish
though the phrase has
now
become "two living, one lost".
I do not know
if the life that
left us
was male or female.
I know only
that my heart holds
it
him
her
until the end
of
my own.
Oct 30, 2008
You've Reached the Blog-Mail of PPG...
The only shit I have to share is depressing and (I strongly suspect) whiny so I think I need to step away for a while - maybe a short while, maybe a long one. I don't know yet.
Oct 23, 2008
Tears In My Eyes
Ok, I apologize. Profusely. Because (a) this isn't the meme follow up and (b) well, you'll see why when you click the link.
For the record, I am, indeed, a 41 year old female, not a 10 year old boy.
Facts On Farts
Oh, and to whoever the person was that asked the question about halfway down inquiring what the brown spots in undies after farting are? Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! ::wipes eyes:: Thanks for the laugh.
For the record, I am, indeed, a 41 year old female, not a 10 year old boy.
Facts On Farts
Oh, and to whoever the person was that asked the question about halfway down inquiring what the brown spots in undies after farting are? Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! ::wipes eyes:: Thanks for the laugh.
Oct 22, 2008
A Meme to Pass The Time
Ok, I have nothing positive to blog about so I'm falling back on the old reliable... yes, it's another meme!
1. Do you like blue cheese salad dressing? The blue cheesier the better
2. Have you ever smoked heroin? No (does one smoke heroin? I thought it got snorted??)
3. Do you own a gun? Nope
4. Your favorite drink at Starbucks or other specialty? Venti decaf 8 pump peppermint non-fat no-whip mocha
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Depends on the doctor and exactly what he or she is going to do to me.
6. What do you like on hot dogs? There's only one kind I'll eat and on that kind I put yellow mustard
7. Favorite Christmas song? It varies a lot but it's just about always classical. Right now? Quem Pastores
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Coffee, lots of coffee
9. Can you do push ups? Uh, not.
10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? I don't have a favorite but I have lots I like
What happened to number 11?
12. Do you have A.D.D.? Depends on who you ask.
13. What's one trait that you hate about yourself? I lose my temper badly and quickly
14. Middle name? Elizabeth
15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment. 1) I really don't want to go to work, 2) my knee hurts, 3) my doctor is a jerk who doesn't care that my knee hurts as long as it means she doesn't have to fight with my insurance company.
16.What drinks do you regularly drink? water mostly, then coffee, then vodka
17. Current worry right now? My daughter's lack of listening skills
19. Favorite place to be? Asleep
k20. How did you bring in the New Year? You know, I don't remember what we did last year
21. Like to travel? Oh yeaahhhhH!!
22. Name three people who will complete this? I hate this question and refuse to answer
23. Do you own slippers? Yes, bunny slippers
24. What color shirt are you wearing? green
25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? don't know - never tried!
26. Can you whistle? Yes
27. Favorite color? black
28. Would you be a pirate? Nah, no hot showers
29. What songs do you sing in the shower? That would assume I get a shower at a point at which I'm both awake enough and cheerful enough to sing.
30. Favorite girls' name? No favorite
31. Favorite boys' name? No real favorite here either
32. What's in your pocket right now? a wadded up Kleenex, a plastic barrette, and the bluetooth headset from my cellphone
33. Last thing that made you laugh? You know who you are even if you disagree as to what (exactly) you said... ;)
34. Best bed sheets as a child? white with flowers
35. Worst injury you've ever had? C-sections (2) - does that count?
36. Do you love where you live? No.
37. How many TVs do you have in your house? 1 (we don't have 'real' cable either, ok?)
38. Who is your loudest friend? No clue - everyone line up now and talk into this decibel meter, ok?
39. Who is your oldest friend? in terms of longest term? Maggie.
40. Does someone have a crush on you? not that I'm aware of - unless you count the cat.
41. What is your favorite book? The Lord of the Rings Trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkien, The Silmarillion by J.R.R. Tolkien, A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett, the Twilight Series by Stephenie Meyer, and, of course, Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen
42. What is your favorite candy? Butter toffee covered with chocolate
43. Favorite Sports Team? none really... sorry!!
44. What were you doing 12 AM last night? working (reading a contract to be more specific)
45. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning? PLEASE GOD LET ME HAVE SEEN THE TIME WRONG.
You know... I think herein lies my next blog post. I get these memes all the time by email. Sometimes, I get the same set of questions 3 and 4 times from the same friends. I mean, really, who cares whether I use croutons or bacon bits or both or neither?? How does that really make someone know me better? Next meme I post? Be prepared to think!!
Cheers.
1. Do you like blue cheese salad dressing? The blue cheesier the better
2. Have you ever smoked heroin? No (does one smoke heroin? I thought it got snorted??)
3. Do you own a gun? Nope
4. Your favorite drink at Starbucks or other specialty? Venti decaf 8 pump peppermint non-fat no-whip mocha
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Depends on the doctor and exactly what he or she is going to do to me.
6. What do you like on hot dogs? There's only one kind I'll eat and on that kind I put yellow mustard
7. Favorite Christmas song? It varies a lot but it's just about always classical. Right now? Quem Pastores
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Coffee, lots of coffee
9. Can you do push ups? Uh, not.
10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? I don't have a favorite but I have lots I like
What happened to number 11?
12. Do you have A.D.D.? Depends on who you ask.
13. What's one trait that you hate about yourself? I lose my temper badly and quickly
14. Middle name? Elizabeth
15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment. 1) I really don't want to go to work, 2) my knee hurts, 3) my doctor is a jerk who doesn't care that my knee hurts as long as it means she doesn't have to fight with my insurance company.
16.What drinks do you regularly drink? water mostly, then coffee, then vodka
17. Current worry right now? My daughter's lack of listening skills
19. Favorite place to be? Asleep
k20. How did you bring in the New Year? You know, I don't remember what we did last year
21. Like to travel? Oh yeaahhhhH!!
22. Name three people who will complete this? I hate this question and refuse to answer
23. Do you own slippers? Yes, bunny slippers
24. What color shirt are you wearing? green
25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? don't know - never tried!
26. Can you whistle? Yes
27. Favorite color? black
28. Would you be a pirate? Nah, no hot showers
29. What songs do you sing in the shower? That would assume I get a shower at a point at which I'm both awake enough and cheerful enough to sing.
30. Favorite girls' name? No favorite
31. Favorite boys' name? No real favorite here either
32. What's in your pocket right now? a wadded up Kleenex, a plastic barrette, and the bluetooth headset from my cellphone
33. Last thing that made you laugh? You know who you are even if you disagree as to what (exactly) you said... ;)
34. Best bed sheets as a child? white with flowers
35. Worst injury you've ever had? C-sections (2) - does that count?
36. Do you love where you live? No.
37. How many TVs do you have in your house? 1 (we don't have 'real' cable either, ok?)
38. Who is your loudest friend? No clue - everyone line up now and talk into this decibel meter, ok?
39. Who is your oldest friend? in terms of longest term? Maggie.
40. Does someone have a crush on you? not that I'm aware of - unless you count the cat.
41. What is your favorite book? The Lord of the Rings Trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkien, The Silmarillion by J.R.R. Tolkien, A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett, the Twilight Series by Stephenie Meyer, and, of course, Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen
42. What is your favorite candy? Butter toffee covered with chocolate
43. Favorite Sports Team? none really... sorry!!
44. What were you doing 12 AM last night? working (reading a contract to be more specific)
45. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning? PLEASE GOD LET ME HAVE SEEN THE TIME WRONG.
You know... I think herein lies my next blog post. I get these memes all the time by email. Sometimes, I get the same set of questions 3 and 4 times from the same friends. I mean, really, who cares whether I use croutons or bacon bits or both or neither?? How does that really make someone know me better? Next meme I post? Be prepared to think!!
Cheers.
Oct 18, 2008
The Big Squish
So this morning's post comes to you from our local Starbucks, where I am thoroughly enjoying my venti decaf extra peppermint nonfat no whip mocha and a cinnamon chip scope and my freedom from people under 4' tall. Why am I at Starbucks on a lovely Saturday morning, you may ask? It's a reward from my husband for undergoing The Big Squish. (Easily squeamish/embarrassed guys should skip directly to the last paragraph now.)
To the credit of the radiology department of N*ton Diagnostic, they keep the room nice and warm, they provide fluffy terry robes for coverage, and they do their best to be gentle. But it's still weird to have someone else manipulate that particular set of appendages (and the armpits - don't forget the armpits!) into pancakes. Then, of course, there's the view. A Squished appendage of my size is kind of frightening to be honest. And, oh yes, you can indeed see the Squished appendage. The top of the Squisher is clear so they can adequately position and appropriately flatten the appendage. It's got little red markings for proper alignment of the appendage's appendage. But the part I really don't like is the armpit bit. "Here hold this handle, now drop your shoulder down and back. Now we're going to Squish the hell out of the appendage *and* whatever part of your armpit we can get ahold of."
I was lying awake last night - I went to bed about 1:30 and laid there for 1/2 hour thinking about this. John asked me if I was nervous. I was, actually. You know, it's not that I'm afraid of the discomfort - after 2 c-sections and a miscarriage (which hurt far worse than the c-sections), I can handle the Squish without a problem. It's that it really brings you face-to-face with the possibility of cancer. I read somewhere that a woman has a 1 in 8 chance of developing breast cancer in her lifetime. That's pretty damn high and, no matter how you take care of yourself (or not, in my case), you have to wonder "is this the time?" Is this the time my life changes permanently? Is this the time that I have to face that my kids may have to grow up without a mother, my husband parent without a wife? Fatalism, maybe, but still at 2 a.m., this is the sort of thing that runs through my head on the day before The Big Squish.
So, yeah, without benefit of coffee, I got Squished this morning. But now it's done for another year and I get to spend the remainder of the morning at Starbucks. Ladies, don't evade the Squish. Gentlemen, encourage the women in your life to get Squished. My mom is alive after 2 separate bouts and 2 mastectomies because she was zealous about her mammograms. The Big Squish sucks, yes, but early detection is the key.
To the credit of the radiology department of N*ton Diagnostic, they keep the room nice and warm, they provide fluffy terry robes for coverage, and they do their best to be gentle. But it's still weird to have someone else manipulate that particular set of appendages (and the armpits - don't forget the armpits!) into pancakes. Then, of course, there's the view. A Squished appendage of my size is kind of frightening to be honest. And, oh yes, you can indeed see the Squished appendage. The top of the Squisher is clear so they can adequately position and appropriately flatten the appendage. It's got little red markings for proper alignment of the appendage's appendage. But the part I really don't like is the armpit bit. "Here hold this handle, now drop your shoulder down and back. Now we're going to Squish the hell out of the appendage *and* whatever part of your armpit we can get ahold of."
I was lying awake last night - I went to bed about 1:30 and laid there for 1/2 hour thinking about this. John asked me if I was nervous. I was, actually. You know, it's not that I'm afraid of the discomfort - after 2 c-sections and a miscarriage (which hurt far worse than the c-sections), I can handle the Squish without a problem. It's that it really brings you face-to-face with the possibility of cancer. I read somewhere that a woman has a 1 in 8 chance of developing breast cancer in her lifetime. That's pretty damn high and, no matter how you take care of yourself (or not, in my case), you have to wonder "is this the time?" Is this the time my life changes permanently? Is this the time that I have to face that my kids may have to grow up without a mother, my husband parent without a wife? Fatalism, maybe, but still at 2 a.m., this is the sort of thing that runs through my head on the day before The Big Squish.
So, yeah, without benefit of coffee, I got Squished this morning. But now it's done for another year and I get to spend the remainder of the morning at Starbucks. Ladies, don't evade the Squish. Gentlemen, encourage the women in your life to get Squished. My mom is alive after 2 separate bouts and 2 mastectomies because she was zealous about her mammograms. The Big Squish sucks, yes, but early detection is the key.
Oct 17, 2008
Oct 14, 2008
The Turnabout Intruder
Happy belated Columbus/Native American Day. Hope everyone enjoyed themselves. Life keeps plugging here.
We went to my brother's outside Wilmington, DE (about a 5 hr drive) Thursday last. My eldest refused to sleep that entire night. Friday, we drove to DC (about a 2.5 hr. drive) to see my great aunt.
Despite being over 45 minutes late, I had to pee so badly I made John stop at a hospital so I could use the bathroom (seriously, I was suspending myself over the seat so that I didn't burst in his car - he'd kill me!). Lucky I did, turns out we were more lost than we thought we were.
At any rate, Aunt Catherine is 93 and she's still plugging away. She's in a retirement community but maintains a garden and so on. Gotta love it. I hadn't seen her since my junior year in high school; it was a delightful visit. The trip home... well, let's just say the 2.5 hour drive turned into a 6 hour drive due to traffic. Then Friday night, the poor baby had a fever and didn't fall asleep until 6:30 a.m. It was funny though - not the fever, those are never funny - but she started crying an hour before we got back to my brother's and the 3 year old took it for about 5 minutes then started wailing "STOP CRYING! STOP CRYING!" I didn't know whether to have John stop in the middle of the road so we could just abandon ship and leave them there or laugh my ass off. I chose the latter. Turnabout is fair play, Miss Difficult!!
So, we're home now. My fall zing hasn't kicked in yet. Usually, my energy level and mood spike in the fall and I'm finding it kind of frustrating that they haven't yet. Soon, I hope!! Maybe then I'll blog more. I hate slog-blogging. I just figure all y'all probably have enough depressing shit in your lives that you don't need to read about mine!
I have a new piece up at the site and a WIP at the jewelry blog if anyone's interested!
Cheers all.
We went to my brother's outside Wilmington, DE (about a 5 hr drive) Thursday last. My eldest refused to sleep that entire night. Friday, we drove to DC (about a 2.5 hr. drive) to see my great aunt.
Despite being over 45 minutes late, I had to pee so badly I made John stop at a hospital so I could use the bathroom (seriously, I was suspending myself over the seat so that I didn't burst in his car - he'd kill me!). Lucky I did, turns out we were more lost than we thought we were.
At any rate, Aunt Catherine is 93 and she's still plugging away. She's in a retirement community but maintains a garden and so on. Gotta love it. I hadn't seen her since my junior year in high school; it was a delightful visit. The trip home... well, let's just say the 2.5 hour drive turned into a 6 hour drive due to traffic. Then Friday night, the poor baby had a fever and didn't fall asleep until 6:30 a.m. It was funny though - not the fever, those are never funny - but she started crying an hour before we got back to my brother's and the 3 year old took it for about 5 minutes then started wailing "STOP CRYING! STOP CRYING!" I didn't know whether to have John stop in the middle of the road so we could just abandon ship and leave them there or laugh my ass off. I chose the latter. Turnabout is fair play, Miss Difficult!!
So, we're home now. My fall zing hasn't kicked in yet. Usually, my energy level and mood spike in the fall and I'm finding it kind of frustrating that they haven't yet. Soon, I hope!! Maybe then I'll blog more. I hate slog-blogging. I just figure all y'all probably have enough depressing shit in your lives that you don't need to read about mine!
I have a new piece up at the site and a WIP at the jewelry blog if anyone's interested!
Cheers all.
Oct 8, 2008
Redhead Instead
Ok, so I've been tagged by Amanda over at Rainbow Giants to provide 7 interesting facts/things about me. Honestly, I've been feeling very boring lately so I'm not certain I can come up with 7 interesting things so, if you find these are boring rather than interesting, you've been warned.
1. I spend much of my life pretending. Pretending I'm brave; pretending I know what the fuck I'm doing; pretending I like my life/myself; pretending I'm a princess (hey, I never said I was grown up!)
2. My favorite Yankee Candle fragrances are Jack Frost and Water Garden and it (heh) frosts me no end that one can only get Jack Frost in the fall/early winter.
3. I think morning people have a superiority complex. My husband thinks this as well so it's not just me!
4. I, as you might have guessed, am not human before 10 a.m. I'm not exactly sure what I am, mind you, as that would require more awareness than I am capable of mustering at that point.
5. I worry that the other mothers in the various activities I do with my kids think I'm a bad mom. It bothers me that I worry about this.
6. I'm constantly tempted to wear my "bite me" t-shirt to the various activities I do with my kids just to offend the other mothers. I hate that the wussy ass side of me has only let me do this once or twice. (I do compensate for that, however, by wearing it to my mother's.)
7. My hair color is courtesy of Nice & Easy (no. 110 - light auburn). The color that comes out of my head is best classified as "mouse". Mouse may fit who people want me to be but it doesn't fit who I want to be so, fuck it, I'm a redhead instead. Interestingly, when my haircolor is fresh, I get all sorts of lovely compliments like "you look really well rested!" and "you look great today" so I'm pretty sure it suits me and that those people (Mom!) who think I should stick with mouse can put their comments where the 'sun don't shine'.
Well, as I said, I'm pretty sure those aren't very interesting but the baby's crying and I have 2 contracts left to review so that's all she wrote, folks!
Oh, wait, I have to tag people. I'm never any good at this. If you're up for a challenge, consider yourself tagged!!
1. I spend much of my life pretending. Pretending I'm brave; pretending I know what the fuck I'm doing; pretending I like my life/myself; pretending I'm a princess (hey, I never said I was grown up!)
2. My favorite Yankee Candle fragrances are Jack Frost and Water Garden and it (heh) frosts me no end that one can only get Jack Frost in the fall/early winter.
3. I think morning people have a superiority complex. My husband thinks this as well so it's not just me!
4. I, as you might have guessed, am not human before 10 a.m. I'm not exactly sure what I am, mind you, as that would require more awareness than I am capable of mustering at that point.
5. I worry that the other mothers in the various activities I do with my kids think I'm a bad mom. It bothers me that I worry about this.
6. I'm constantly tempted to wear my "bite me" t-shirt to the various activities I do with my kids just to offend the other mothers. I hate that the wussy ass side of me has only let me do this once or twice. (I do compensate for that, however, by wearing it to my mother's.)
7. My hair color is courtesy of Nice & Easy (no. 110 - light auburn). The color that comes out of my head is best classified as "mouse". Mouse may fit who people want me to be but it doesn't fit who I want to be so, fuck it, I'm a redhead instead. Interestingly, when my haircolor is fresh, I get all sorts of lovely compliments like "you look really well rested!" and "you look great today" so I'm pretty sure it suits me and that those people (Mom!) who think I should stick with mouse can put their comments where the 'sun don't shine'.
Well, as I said, I'm pretty sure those aren't very interesting but the baby's crying and I have 2 contracts left to review so that's all she wrote, folks!
Oh, wait, I have to tag people. I'm never any good at this. If you're up for a challenge, consider yourself tagged!!
Oct 2, 2008
Irony Writ (Literally) Large
On my way home from choir last night, the highway's closed down from 4 lanes to 1. I'm following a vehicle plastered with militant liberal bumper stickers. Does it strike anyone else as ironic that the vehicle was a massive SUV or that the person was driving like an aggressive idiot?
Put your money where your mouth is (which, apparently, is not around meat, eggs, milk, or any other animal product) and drive a car that isn't the size of a small nation, ok?
Now, I should say that I have no problem with people eating however they choose or supporting whoever they choose (as long as they don't insist on my eating or supporting the same way) or plastering their car with bumper stickers (gives me something to read in traffic jams); my problem is with the hypocrisy.
I should also say that I'm just about as bleeding heart as they come. Which is probably why this bugs me so much. We liberals have such a bad rep anyway; let's not add hypocritical assholes to the list, ok?
Put your money where your mouth is (which, apparently, is not around meat, eggs, milk, or any other animal product) and drive a car that isn't the size of a small nation, ok?
Now, I should say that I have no problem with people eating however they choose or supporting whoever they choose (as long as they don't insist on my eating or supporting the same way) or plastering their car with bumper stickers (gives me something to read in traffic jams); my problem is with the hypocrisy.
I should also say that I'm just about as bleeding heart as they come. Which is probably why this bugs me so much. We liberals have such a bad rep anyway; let's not add hypocritical assholes to the list, ok?
Sep 30, 2008
Of Doctors and Denial
Do you ever get the feeling that your doctor just doesn't want to deal with your problem? I did something to my knee shortly after Evie was born. Now, it doesn't sound like anything, I know. My feet were on a footstool covered with an afghan. I turned my right foot 90° (from straight up to pointing right) and my right knee exploded in pain. That's it - no great stress, no fall, etc.
Now, this was in May and I'll grant you, I should've gone to the doctor before this but going to the doctor is such a pain (remember, I have to haul a 3 year old and an infant with me) and, honestly, I figured it would get better. And it did. A little. But then it got worse. Then a little better, then a little worse. Then I had a bunch of stairs to climb for church a couple weeks ago and it's been bad since then. So I finally hauled my ass in.
She poked it, said she didn't think anything was broken and asked who my insurance company was. Then made a face. Seems my insurance company doesn't like to pay for MRIs. So she sent me for an x-ray. Which was kind of interesting as it's all digital and I haven't had that kind of x-ray in 20 years. But nothing's broken. What shows of the joint on the x-rays "looks good".
So I ask about an MRI. I get referred by the nurse to the receptionist who "handles" that sort of thing. She doesn't answer; I leave a message. Haven't heard diddly back.
Kind of don't expect to.
Meanwhile, my knee has me hobbling like a little ol' lady. Makes going up and down the stairs with an infant kind of interesting.
Oh, but one good thing, I was (finally) able to reschedule the mammogram they wouldn't let me do on the 16th because I had Evie with me. Given the family history, not something I ought to be missing.
Now, this was in May and I'll grant you, I should've gone to the doctor before this but going to the doctor is such a pain (remember, I have to haul a 3 year old and an infant with me) and, honestly, I figured it would get better. And it did. A little. But then it got worse. Then a little better, then a little worse. Then I had a bunch of stairs to climb for church a couple weeks ago and it's been bad since then. So I finally hauled my ass in.
She poked it, said she didn't think anything was broken and asked who my insurance company was. Then made a face. Seems my insurance company doesn't like to pay for MRIs. So she sent me for an x-ray. Which was kind of interesting as it's all digital and I haven't had that kind of x-ray in 20 years. But nothing's broken. What shows of the joint on the x-rays "looks good".
So I ask about an MRI. I get referred by the nurse to the receptionist who "handles" that sort of thing. She doesn't answer; I leave a message. Haven't heard diddly back.
Kind of don't expect to.
Meanwhile, my knee has me hobbling like a little ol' lady. Makes going up and down the stairs with an infant kind of interesting.
Oh, but one good thing, I was (finally) able to reschedule the mammogram they wouldn't let me do on the 16th because I had Evie with me. Given the family history, not something I ought to be missing.
Sep 18, 2008
Fairy Tales Can Come True, It Can Happen To You
Last night, I achieved something I've dreamed of since I was about 8. I started my paid church singing gig with a pot luck supper and productive rehearsal.
I was damn nervous going in but so I always am when faced with bunches of people I don't know. (People scare the shit out of me.) Fortunately, the music director is energetic and very nice and the people, while not as energetic - which would be difficult!, are very pleasant and very welcoming and willing to answer my logistical questions (parking validation, robes, rehearsal times, etc.).
Having sung in a Catholic church for the last couple years (which I am still doing), it's nice to be back to "real" music. Actually, our music director at P&A does try to work in some real music and we've a lovely Palestrina piece we're working on so that's not really fair. Still, music in the latter day Catholic church is, predominantly, schlock (which I've always thought is a real shame - they have such a wealth of beautiful, beautiful music, centuries worth, for Pete's sake! - and they do schlock). Tthe congregationalists are a little more classical. It's also nice to be singing SATB again. Actually, with singing both at P&A and Center Church, I get the best of both worlds this way - I'm singing SSAA (women only) at P&A.
All in all, it was a really positive experience - and, other than the fact that I have to then work until 2 a.m. to make up for starting at 10 p.m., I think I'm going to enjoy this.
P.S. I admit it, I'm doing the Achieved My Dream of Being a Professional Musician Happy
Dance in my office chair this morning!!
I was damn nervous going in but so I always am when faced with bunches of people I don't know. (People scare the shit out of me.) Fortunately, the music director is energetic and very nice and the people, while not as energetic - which would be difficult!, are very pleasant and very welcoming and willing to answer my logistical questions (parking validation, robes, rehearsal times, etc.).
Having sung in a Catholic church for the last couple years (which I am still doing), it's nice to be back to "real" music. Actually, our music director at P&A does try to work in some real music and we've a lovely Palestrina piece we're working on so that's not really fair. Still, music in the latter day Catholic church is, predominantly, schlock (which I've always thought is a real shame - they have such a wealth of beautiful, beautiful music, centuries worth, for Pete's sake! - and they do schlock). Tthe congregationalists are a little more classical. It's also nice to be singing SATB again. Actually, with singing both at P&A and Center Church, I get the best of both worlds this way - I'm singing SSAA (women only) at P&A.
All in all, it was a really positive experience - and, other than the fact that I have to then work until 2 a.m. to make up for starting at 10 p.m., I think I'm going to enjoy this.
P.S. I admit it, I'm doing the Achieved My Dream of Being a Professional Musician Happy
Dance in my office chair this morning!!
Sep 6, 2008
Slipping Through My Fingers
"Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning,
waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile."
My baby started preschool this week. How can she possibly be old enough?? She's going 2 days a week all day (9:30 - 2:30). The night before , I lay out her clothes and pack her lunch. They want me to pack 2 snacks and a meal - Katie's always been a grazer so I'm not sure how this going to work. How very odd to be packing her lunch! Cheese sandwich, carrots and ranch dip... goldfish crackers... Hmmm... water, I guess. She's not much of a water drinker but I'm not sure how they'd feel about me packing a bottle of milk even with the coldpack. (I did wind up doing that on the second day and it was fine, btw.)
The big day arrives. I drag my sorry-work-nights-ass out of bed at 7:30, drink my diet smoothie, roust her at 8, get her dressed and fixed for breakfast, then roust the baby (and it goes against my grain to wake a sleeping baby), get her dressed and fixed for breakfast, and then it's suddenly time to go. Time to go take my sweet (mostly), innocent (mostly), little (mostly) one and leave her in some stranger's care. Ack!
All dressed up - heading to the car. We're both (slightly shakily) optimistic. She just so darned cute. I'm a little frustrated that the nametag they want her to wear won't stay stuck.
We had to wait outside for a few minutes among a crowd of other excited/nervous/anxious kids/parents/grandparents/caregivers. They don't open the doors until 9:30.
She knows several of the kids in her class from various town toddler classes, etc. She's ever so calm as we sign in, hang her backpack and her lunch up, show her the bathroom. One little girl, whose mother has already left, is sobbing and won't be consoled even as Katie tries to hug her. (The girl's brother, a year older - thus having a year of experience under his belt, has clearly already written her off and is off playing with friends from the last year.) Katie gets distracted by a puzzle. I ask if she has to go to the bathroom before Mama leaves. Nope. Ok, then, I guess we need to go now. I'm ok. I'm not crying. A bit shaky but not crying. John and I and the baby leave without fanfare and head to our cars. One mom who left after us and who is a family friend said, "she looked around at where she last saw you and said 'Mommy? Daddy?!', then looked around the room and said it again, more anxiously, then turned to me and said 'pick me up?'" Her daughter is a first year too.
"...I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness
and I have to sit down for a while..."
I was ok during the day though it was rather surreal. I got some work-work done. I took care of the baby. The time to pick her up came quickly. We got there a couple minutes early. All the kids were playing outside and we had to walk around the playyard to get to the pick up gate. She didn't notice at all, so engrossed was she! Ok, now the tears really did threaten. I was pretty choked up.
"... the feeling that I'm losing her forever
and without really entering her world..."
"...Then when she's gone
There's that odd melancholy feeling
And a sense of guilt I can't deny...
I was going to be this great mom whose kid could read and count before preschool, the one whose kid spoke German as well as English, etc. God, where does the time go?
"Well, some of those we did, but most we didn't,
and why I just don't know.
... Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture
And save it from the funny tricks of time, slipping through my fingers..."
waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile."
My baby started preschool this week. How can she possibly be old enough?? She's going 2 days a week all day (9:30 - 2:30). The night before , I lay out her clothes and pack her lunch. They want me to pack 2 snacks and a meal - Katie's always been a grazer so I'm not sure how this going to work. How very odd to be packing her lunch! Cheese sandwich, carrots and ranch dip... goldfish crackers... Hmmm... water, I guess. She's not much of a water drinker but I'm not sure how they'd feel about me packing a bottle of milk even with the coldpack. (I did wind up doing that on the second day and it was fine, btw.)
The big day arrives. I drag my sorry-work-nights-ass out of bed at 7:30, drink my diet smoothie, roust her at 8, get her dressed and fixed for breakfast, then roust the baby (and it goes against my grain to wake a sleeping baby), get her dressed and fixed for breakfast, and then it's suddenly time to go. Time to go take my sweet (mostly), innocent (mostly), little (mostly) one and leave her in some stranger's care. Ack!
All dressed up - heading to the car. We're both (slightly shakily) optimistic. She just so darned cute. I'm a little frustrated that the nametag they want her to wear won't stay stuck.
We had to wait outside for a few minutes among a crowd of other excited/nervous/anxious kids/parents/grandparents/caregivers. They don't open the doors until 9:30.
She knows several of the kids in her class from various town toddler classes, etc. She's ever so calm as we sign in, hang her backpack and her lunch up, show her the bathroom. One little girl, whose mother has already left, is sobbing and won't be consoled even as Katie tries to hug her. (The girl's brother, a year older - thus having a year of experience under his belt, has clearly already written her off and is off playing with friends from the last year.) Katie gets distracted by a puzzle. I ask if she has to go to the bathroom before Mama leaves. Nope. Ok, then, I guess we need to go now. I'm ok. I'm not crying. A bit shaky but not crying. John and I and the baby leave without fanfare and head to our cars. One mom who left after us and who is a family friend said, "she looked around at where she last saw you and said 'Mommy? Daddy?!', then looked around the room and said it again, more anxiously, then turned to me and said 'pick me up?'" Her daughter is a first year too.
"...I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness
and I have to sit down for a while..."
I was ok during the day though it was rather surreal. I got some work-work done. I took care of the baby. The time to pick her up came quickly. We got there a couple minutes early. All the kids were playing outside and we had to walk around the playyard to get to the pick up gate. She didn't notice at all, so engrossed was she! Ok, now the tears really did threaten. I was pretty choked up.
"... the feeling that I'm losing her forever
and without really entering her world..."
"...Then when she's gone
There's that odd melancholy feeling
And a sense of guilt I can't deny...
I was going to be this great mom whose kid could read and count before preschool, the one whose kid spoke German as well as English, etc. God, where does the time go?
"Well, some of those we did, but most we didn't,
and why I just don't know.
... Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture
And save it from the funny tricks of time, slipping through my fingers..."
Aug 27, 2008
Does This Mean I'm Middle Aged??
I had a whole large post planned out for tonight but I have a vicious headache from clenching my jaw so I'll pass on that. Why am I clenching my jaw? It appears that it's an subconscious effort to keep my new glasses (choke... bi-fo-cals... agh!) in the proper place to see.
Actually, they're progressives and I will say that, when they're not slid down my nose, they definitely make it easier to see.
Oy.
Actually, they're progressives and I will say that, when they're not slid down my nose, they definitely make it easier to see.
Oy.
Aug 20, 2008
Dem Damn Ducks
Is still nibblin'. (And, yes, Virginia - oh, yes - these ducks have very big pointy teeth - the avian version of the rabbits from MP&THG.)
I know, I know... I haven't posted in a couple weeks. I know, I know... my new year's resolution (one of them) was to blog more often. But, basically, when it comes down to it? I have a boring life that's of interest to pretty much no one but me and, honestly?, even I'm not that interested. So I tend not to post when things are beneficial to the insomniac population.
And, then, there's the whine factor. I have NO RIGHT to bitch. There are, quite literally, billions of people who have lives that are truly Godawful in comparison to mine so to whine about being stuck at home with my kids all day, working at night, with no free time and no money is just me being a candyass and I admit it freely. So I tend not to post when I'm feeling indigo on the edges.
But as it's been a couple of weeks I felt I ought to at least get something up. So what's been going on?
The spouse's business is struggling. Paycheck is down by about $800 this month so far. And the frightening thing is that summers are usually the "good" time of year for income. Sort of fills me with trepidation for the fall and, particularly, the winter. Also, he's a real winner when his business is suffering. Fun is. My business, too, has been dead since I had the baby. I'm starting to make jewelry again though and hopefully I can get a couple of home parties booked for the fall. But, in the good news column, turns out we're getting (supposedly) a stimulus check. Good. It should pay for my new (shudder!!) bifocals.
Yes, at 41, my eyes have sh*t the bed and I'm moving from just astigmatic and incredibly myopic to astigmatic, incredibly myopic, and in dire need of magnification and good reading light. I can get new lenses for my current frames for my regular glasses but I do need to replace my prescription sunglasses which are now 2 (3?) prescriptions behind. Total cost: $631 - which, actually, was much cheaper than I expected. My last full pair of prescription glasses (last year) was $382 and that was without the progressives. Yet, even in the blindness, there's a little good news - despite being so blind as to not even be able to tell there were letters up without my glasses, I'm still correctable to 20-25 SO I can still pass my medical to fly - assuming I can ever afford to utilize my license again!
Ok, what else... Is it possible to die from overexposure to a preschooler? Just curious. She starts preschool September 2. I'm maudlin and madly looking forward to it by turns. In the meantime, you'll find me cowering under the dining room table trying to get the newspaper read and a cup of coffee drunk before Phil the Prince of Insufficient Light starts knocking on the door with his giant spoon. Registered her for dance class today. Raided her savings account to pay for it but I think it will be good for her. The giving up of nap seems to be agreeing with her. Me, well, let's not go there.
So, I'm trying to figure out how I can manage to get something productive done without having naptime to do it. My latest theory was that I'd redo my office into a creative space for all of us and have Miss Preschooler draw while I bang metal. But the budget precludes any true redoing. I figure I'll raid the basement and see if I can come up with anything that will work.
The infant member of the household (no, I did say infant, infantile is a different person) had her 4 month visit to the doctor today. She grew 3" in the last 2 months. She's now 95th percentile for weight and 75th for height. She appears to be very healthy despite her premature start. And though we were worried about a potential hearing issue, the ped feels she's just been inured to noise by said preschooler overexposure. She's teething. And, be there no mistake about this, oatmeal is definitely on her Do Not Feed This To Me Under Penalty of Much Noise list.
And that's the news from Lake Wobegon
Where all the women are strong,
all the men are good looking,
and all the children are above average.
So back I go to read contracts which, of course, is what I'm being paid to do. Sounds like a barrel of laughs, doesn't it? More like a barrel of monkeys...
I know, I know... I haven't posted in a couple weeks. I know, I know... my new year's resolution (one of them) was to blog more often. But, basically, when it comes down to it? I have a boring life that's of interest to pretty much no one but me and, honestly?, even I'm not that interested. So I tend not to post when things are beneficial to the insomniac population.
And, then, there's the whine factor. I have NO RIGHT to bitch. There are, quite literally, billions of people who have lives that are truly Godawful in comparison to mine so to whine about being stuck at home with my kids all day, working at night, with no free time and no money is just me being a candyass and I admit it freely. So I tend not to post when I'm feeling indigo on the edges.
But as it's been a couple of weeks I felt I ought to at least get something up. So what's been going on?
The spouse's business is struggling. Paycheck is down by about $800 this month so far. And the frightening thing is that summers are usually the "good" time of year for income. Sort of fills me with trepidation for the fall and, particularly, the winter. Also, he's a real winner when his business is suffering. Fun is. My business, too, has been dead since I had the baby. I'm starting to make jewelry again though and hopefully I can get a couple of home parties booked for the fall. But, in the good news column, turns out we're getting (supposedly) a stimulus check. Good. It should pay for my new (shudder!!) bifocals.
Yes, at 41, my eyes have sh*t the bed and I'm moving from just astigmatic and incredibly myopic to astigmatic, incredibly myopic, and in dire need of magnification and good reading light. I can get new lenses for my current frames for my regular glasses but I do need to replace my prescription sunglasses which are now 2 (3?) prescriptions behind. Total cost: $631 - which, actually, was much cheaper than I expected. My last full pair of prescription glasses (last year) was $382 and that was without the progressives. Yet, even in the blindness, there's a little good news - despite being so blind as to not even be able to tell there were letters up without my glasses, I'm still correctable to 20-25 SO I can still pass my medical to fly - assuming I can ever afford to utilize my license again!
Ok, what else... Is it possible to die from overexposure to a preschooler? Just curious. She starts preschool September 2. I'm maudlin and madly looking forward to it by turns. In the meantime, you'll find me cowering under the dining room table trying to get the newspaper read and a cup of coffee drunk before Phil the Prince of Insufficient Light starts knocking on the door with his giant spoon. Registered her for dance class today. Raided her savings account to pay for it but I think it will be good for her. The giving up of nap seems to be agreeing with her. Me, well, let's not go there.
So, I'm trying to figure out how I can manage to get something productive done without having naptime to do it. My latest theory was that I'd redo my office into a creative space for all of us and have Miss Preschooler draw while I bang metal. But the budget precludes any true redoing. I figure I'll raid the basement and see if I can come up with anything that will work.
The infant member of the household (no, I did say infant, infantile is a different person) had her 4 month visit to the doctor today. She grew 3" in the last 2 months. She's now 95th percentile for weight and 75th for height. She appears to be very healthy despite her premature start. And though we were worried about a potential hearing issue, the ped feels she's just been inured to noise by said preschooler overexposure. She's teething. And, be there no mistake about this, oatmeal is definitely on her Do Not Feed This To Me Under Penalty of Much Noise list.
And that's the news from Lake Wobegon
Where all the women are strong,
all the men are good looking,
and all the children are above average.
So back I go to read contracts which, of course, is what I'm being paid to do. Sounds like a barrel of laughs, doesn't it? More like a barrel of monkeys...
Aug 6, 2008
Busy Being Nibbled To Death By Ducks
so I'll just say there's a new post up at Keep the Geek and leave it at that.
Jul 23, 2008
YEEEHAA!!
I can't believe I can actually say this!! I have a church job. A weekly obligation where I will get paid to sing. I'm beyond thrilled. I have wanted to be a professional musician for as long as I can remember - this really is a dream come true. I'd think I imagined it all except that I have a choir section leader contract of employment sitting next to me for review and signature. Attached to it is the schedule.
Holy shit, this is for real. Excuse me while I go dance about the room some more.
Holy shit, this is for real. Excuse me while I go dance about the room some more.
Jul 20, 2008
Katie's New Room
Ok, it's not so new anymore but, by the time I had time to take pictures of it, it was so messy that I wouldn't. We had to clean the house for the Christening however and I finally took some pictures.
Some brief history: when we started, the room had NO trim. Nothing around the windows, nothing around the doors, no mopboard, nothing around the closed. It was also panelled in that lovely paneling that screams 1970s rec room - you know the kind, came in big sheets, was dark with thick weird black lines down it? The paneling was also shot full of holes and, yes, I do mean shot as in BBs - lots and lots of BBs. We filled the holes and painted the paneling. We'd debated ripping it off but the idea of how bad the plaster and lathe behind it might be scared us out of that idea. Also, the radiator covers for the baseboard hotwater heat were all missing so we had to put those in too since the fin that covers the pipes is sharp (as I found out from personal experience!).
We lucked out - we didn't have to buy any of the furniture. I did buy some fabric to recover the cushions on the little rocker (which was mine as a child and had oh-so-70s upholstery!
You can't really see the stripes in the curtains here but the stripes we put on the walls match exactly - whee! (I recommend HIGHLY the Benjamin Moore paint, btw, they had paint chips that were about 6x8" big - so much easier to see the real color!)
Yes, we are still working on potty training (note the little potty) and, yes, I use a baby gate to keep her in her room - after that week where she had to go to the ER on Monday, then ruined my kitchen ceiling by flooding the upstairs bathroom on Friday, can you really blame me?
We also lucked out that Lowe's had the cut-to-size roller blinds in the right color. They claim these are offwhite. Yeah, well, they're pink. BUT, they're exactly the right shade of pink so I'm not complaining!
Just so's you know... when I went to check on her about a 1/2 hour ago? Her carpet is flipped over halfway through the room. The contents of the bins in the bookcase (diapers, socks, undies, etc.) are spread liberally throughout the room. She's pushed the bed up to the high boy to get into the top drawers. There are toys and books everywhere. And the potty is somehow in the middle of the room. I should probably take a picture of that too for her baby book but it depresses me too much!!
In other news, please send prayers and positive thoughts my way on Wednesday afternoon. I have an audition for a section leader position. No, this isn't the PPC but would be paid. I'm planning to sing O Thou That Tellest from the Messiah. Overdone? Yes. Could sing it in my sleep and even if the accompanist screws up? Check. Shows my voice well? Check. Unless my voice coach coaxes me into singing the Pergolesi piece we worked on last November, Handel it is.
Some brief history: when we started, the room had NO trim. Nothing around the windows, nothing around the doors, no mopboard, nothing around the closed. It was also panelled in that lovely paneling that screams 1970s rec room - you know the kind, came in big sheets, was dark with thick weird black lines down it? The paneling was also shot full of holes and, yes, I do mean shot as in BBs - lots and lots of BBs. We filled the holes and painted the paneling. We'd debated ripping it off but the idea of how bad the plaster and lathe behind it might be scared us out of that idea. Also, the radiator covers for the baseboard hotwater heat were all missing so we had to put those in too since the fin that covers the pipes is sharp (as I found out from personal experience!).
We lucked out - we didn't have to buy any of the furniture. I did buy some fabric to recover the cushions on the little rocker (which was mine as a child and had oh-so-70s upholstery!
You can't really see the stripes in the curtains here but the stripes we put on the walls match exactly - whee! (I recommend HIGHLY the Benjamin Moore paint, btw, they had paint chips that were about 6x8" big - so much easier to see the real color!)
Yes, we are still working on potty training (note the little potty) and, yes, I use a baby gate to keep her in her room - after that week where she had to go to the ER on Monday, then ruined my kitchen ceiling by flooding the upstairs bathroom on Friday, can you really blame me?
We also lucked out that Lowe's had the cut-to-size roller blinds in the right color. They claim these are offwhite. Yeah, well, they're pink. BUT, they're exactly the right shade of pink so I'm not complaining!
Just so's you know... when I went to check on her about a 1/2 hour ago? Her carpet is flipped over halfway through the room. The contents of the bins in the bookcase (diapers, socks, undies, etc.) are spread liberally throughout the room. She's pushed the bed up to the high boy to get into the top drawers. There are toys and books everywhere. And the potty is somehow in the middle of the room. I should probably take a picture of that too for her baby book but it depresses me too much!!
In other news, please send prayers and positive thoughts my way on Wednesday afternoon. I have an audition for a section leader position. No, this isn't the PPC but would be paid. I'm planning to sing O Thou That Tellest from the Messiah. Overdone? Yes. Could sing it in my sleep and even if the accompanist screws up? Check. Shows my voice well? Check. Unless my voice coach coaxes me into singing the Pergolesi piece we worked on last November, Handel it is.
Jul 11, 2008
If you need me...
Well, so far today, my daughter has
So, if you need me? I'll be on a greyhound to St. Louis under an alias.
- peed her pants,
- flooded the upstairs bathroom so thoroughly that my kitchen ceiling has a wet spot 5' long and 18" wide, and
- dumped half a canister of formula on the upstairs bathroom floor (after I cleaned up all the water.
- my parents got on my case about my discipline of said child (I confined her to her room) and
- my husband criticized how little I've gotten done today (mind you, I've made a tortellini salad, fed Evie *and* Katie twice, run a load of wash, and vacuumed all the floors downstairs).
So, if you need me? I'll be on a greyhound to St. Louis under an alias.
Jul 7, 2008
Panic!
Don't worry, everyone's fine.
We just had a little bit of a scare tonight. I got off the phone and it was strangely quiet in the house.
"Katie, where are you?"
Silence.
"Katie??!"
thump thump thump of footsteps.
"I drinkin' medicine, Mommy!"
The child drank 3/4 of a bottle of children's ibuprofen that I thought was safely out of reach. Needless to say, I called 911 and we spent our evening in the ER of Connecticut Children's Medical Center. First time I've ever been in an ambulance. They took Mommy's pulse to show Katie the finger clippie thingie was nothing to be scared of... 115. Yeah, Mommy had a little adrenaline going. Just a wee bit.
I can't say enough about our town's first responders - they were there within probably 2 minutes of when I picked up the phone - or the children's hospital. They were very good either her and got us all packed up (because, of course, I was home alone with the kids - John was at a wake in New Haven) and in the ambulance quickly.
She showed no ill effects at all, thank God. And we're all home now several hours and much adrenaline later.
We just had a little bit of a scare tonight. I got off the phone and it was strangely quiet in the house.
"Katie, where are you?"
Silence.
"Katie??!"
thump thump thump of footsteps.
"I drinkin' medicine, Mommy!"
The child drank 3/4 of a bottle of children's ibuprofen that I thought was safely out of reach. Needless to say, I called 911 and we spent our evening in the ER of Connecticut Children's Medical Center. First time I've ever been in an ambulance. They took Mommy's pulse to show Katie the finger clippie thingie was nothing to be scared of... 115. Yeah, Mommy had a little adrenaline going. Just a wee bit.
I can't say enough about our town's first responders - they were there within probably 2 minutes of when I picked up the phone - or the children's hospital. They were very good either her and got us all packed up (because, of course, I was home alone with the kids - John was at a wake in New Haven) and in the ambulance quickly.
She showed no ill effects at all, thank God. And we're all home now several hours and much adrenaline later.
Jun 30, 2008
Same Old, Same Old, Less $4,300
Well, I can't say much has changed in the last couple of weeks but it's been a while so I thought I'd better post or y'all'd think I'd taken a bridge or something. I haven't.
What's new?
Well, we got our tax stuff back from the accountant finally (we've been on extension). $4,300. No, we're not getting that back. It has to be paid to the IRS by 7/15. Ok, yeah, I haven't exactly got $4,300 - not quite sure where it's coming from. And the other lovely thing about that? Our quarterly estimated taxes (one of the joys of self-employment) went up by about $2,500 a quarter. And one of the quarters is due now. (Actually, it was due the 15th of June but I paid it today.) Yeah, I'm starting to think that PeppyPilotGirl ain't going to be piloting again in this lifetime at this rate. Maybe I can be a fighter jet pilot in my next life.
We're headed to my sister's for the Independence Day weekend. It's about a 4 hour ride with just adults; about 5 with Katie. I'm figuring I need to add another 1/2 hour for Evie. We'll be staying at my parents where all 4 of us will share a room. Anyone care to guess how much sleep we'll be getting those 2 nights?
Finally sewed my Stargate patches on the black messenger bag I use as a diaper bag. It's always bothered me how cutesy accessories become once you have kids. I'm just not much into cutesy - not only does it not reflect my interests, it looks ridiculous on a woman of my stature (isn't that such a nice way of saying "on a woman as fat as I am?). I think I need to start a website for parents who don't want to have their identities subsumed by their offspring. Anyone having any contributions (photos/ideas/how tos on keeping the geek in their life post children - be it music/gamer/scifi/fantasy/comic book/computer/etc geekdom - drop me an email (peppypilotgirl (at) hotmail.com).
I suppose I really ought to get back to work.
What's new?
Well, we got our tax stuff back from the accountant finally (we've been on extension). $4,300. No, we're not getting that back. It has to be paid to the IRS by 7/15. Ok, yeah, I haven't exactly got $4,300 - not quite sure where it's coming from. And the other lovely thing about that? Our quarterly estimated taxes (one of the joys of self-employment) went up by about $2,500 a quarter. And one of the quarters is due now. (Actually, it was due the 15th of June but I paid it today.) Yeah, I'm starting to think that PeppyPilotGirl ain't going to be piloting again in this lifetime at this rate. Maybe I can be a fighter jet pilot in my next life.
We're headed to my sister's for the Independence Day weekend. It's about a 4 hour ride with just adults; about 5 with Katie. I'm figuring I need to add another 1/2 hour for Evie. We'll be staying at my parents where all 4 of us will share a room. Anyone care to guess how much sleep we'll be getting those 2 nights?
Finally sewed my Stargate patches on the black messenger bag I use as a diaper bag. It's always bothered me how cutesy accessories become once you have kids. I'm just not much into cutesy - not only does it not reflect my interests, it looks ridiculous on a woman of my stature (isn't that such a nice way of saying "on a woman as fat as I am?). I think I need to start a website for parents who don't want to have their identities subsumed by their offspring. Anyone having any contributions (photos/ideas/how tos on keeping the geek in their life post children - be it music/gamer/scifi/fantasy/comic book/computer/etc geekdom - drop me an email (peppypilotgirl (at) hotmail.com).
I suppose I really ought to get back to work.
Jun 12, 2008
Dark Clouds Are Comin' In Like An Army
Soon the sky will open up and disarm me
You will go just like you've gone before
One sad soldier off to war, enemies that only you can see.
Dishes stacked, the table cleared
It's always like the scene of the last supper here
You speak so cryptically that's not news to me
The flood is here it will carry you
And I've got work to do.
Come on home, the team you're hitched to has a mind of its own
But it's just the forces of your past you've fought before
Come back here and shut the door
I'm stacking sandbags against the river of your troubles.
There is fire there is lust
Some will trade it all for someone they could trust
There's a bag of silver for a box of nails
It's so simple the betrayal
Though it's known to change the world and what's to come.
Just come on home, the team you're hitched to has a mind of its own
But it's just the forces of your past you've fought before
Don't you recognize them anymore
I'm stacking sandbags against the river of your troubles.
There's the given and the expected
I count my blessings while I eye what I've neglected
Is this for better is this for worse
You're all jammed up and the dam's about to burst.
I hear the owl in the night
I realize that some things never are made right
By some will we string together here
Days to months and months to years
What if everything we have adds up to nothing.
Come on home, the team you're hitched to has a mind of its own
But it's just the forces of your past you've fought before
Come back here and shut the door
I'm stacking sandbags against the river of your troubles.
Indigo Girls | Come On Home from All That We Let In
I'm both people in that song today, oddly enough. I can feel the dark clouds gathering on my horizon. A drop is falling here, a drop there. It's odd that, this time, unlike most, I can feel it coming. I, for once, recognize what is happening. I'm stacking my own sandbags though I have no idea how effective it will be. But, when the deluge comes, at least I will have tried.
You will go just like you've gone before
One sad soldier off to war, enemies that only you can see.
Dishes stacked, the table cleared
It's always like the scene of the last supper here
You speak so cryptically that's not news to me
The flood is here it will carry you
And I've got work to do.
Come on home, the team you're hitched to has a mind of its own
But it's just the forces of your past you've fought before
Come back here and shut the door
I'm stacking sandbags against the river of your troubles.
There is fire there is lust
Some will trade it all for someone they could trust
There's a bag of silver for a box of nails
It's so simple the betrayal
Though it's known to change the world and what's to come.
Just come on home, the team you're hitched to has a mind of its own
But it's just the forces of your past you've fought before
Don't you recognize them anymore
I'm stacking sandbags against the river of your troubles.
There's the given and the expected
I count my blessings while I eye what I've neglected
Is this for better is this for worse
You're all jammed up and the dam's about to burst.
I hear the owl in the night
I realize that some things never are made right
By some will we string together here
Days to months and months to years
What if everything we have adds up to nothing.
Come on home, the team you're hitched to has a mind of its own
But it's just the forces of your past you've fought before
Come back here and shut the door
I'm stacking sandbags against the river of your troubles.
Indigo Girls | Come On Home from All That We Let In
I'm both people in that song today, oddly enough. I can feel the dark clouds gathering on my horizon. A drop is falling here, a drop there. It's odd that, this time, unlike most, I can feel it coming. I, for once, recognize what is happening. I'm stacking my own sandbags though I have no idea how effective it will be. But, when the deluge comes, at least I will have tried.
Jun 9, 2008
Jun 3, 2008
Denn Wir Haben Hier Keine Bleibende Stadt
Then we have here (on Earth) no resting place. Or, secularly paraphrased, there's no rest for the weary.
I've been on a Brahms Requiem kick lately. For some reason, it just fits my mood - and not just because I definitely had no resting place recently. (Quick aside for those who aren't classical music geeks... a requiem is, essentially, music for a funeral. Not that I've been feeling funereal, particularly, but it's comforting music.) On top of that, it relies heavily on the chorus rather than predominantly focusing on soloists. It's also got some great really loud bits that I get a kick out of blasting from my open-windowed car - sort of a classical rebellion, I suppose. ("Heh, don't you give me all that bass, you teenage whippersnapper, or I'll Brahms you!")
I sang the Brahms Requiem (or, more accurately, "Ein Deutsches Requiem" by Johannes Brahms), oh, probably about 10-ish years ago as part of the Springfield Symphony Chorus. I'd never been much of a Brahms fan - a bit thickly layered for me - and this piece was no exception. Until the second run through at the final dress rehearsal. All of a sudden, the piece fell together for me and is, now, probably my all time favorite choral work. 10 years later, I can still sing a goodly portion of the alto part from memory.
So, how, you ask, can a requiem, for God's sake, be comforting? Well, it's kind of funny - but this requiem is far more about addressing the needs of the living than ushering the dead into the next realm. The music is sweepingly complicated and beautiful, simultaneously warm and forceful, filled with wistful longing and gentle reassurance. The text speaks of the beauty of that next realm (Wie lieblich sind deine Wohnungen, Herr Zebaot - how lovely is thy dwelling place, Oh God.), it assures us that we will meet again with those who have gone before (Ich will euch wiedersehen - I will see you again).
Even as it admonishes us to remember that our lives are limited in duration (Herr, lehre doch mich das ein Ende mit mir haben muss, und mein Leben ein Ziel hat, und ich davon muss - Lord, teach me that there will be an end to me, that my life will draw to a close, and I must leave here), it reminds us that God does not forget God's own (Die Erloeseten des Herrn werden wieder kommen und gehn Zion - the beloved of the Lord will come again unto Heaven).
And, you know, there's something really comforting about that. Just my 2 cents, of course.
I've been on a Brahms Requiem kick lately. For some reason, it just fits my mood - and not just because I definitely had no resting place recently. (Quick aside for those who aren't classical music geeks... a requiem is, essentially, music for a funeral. Not that I've been feeling funereal, particularly, but it's comforting music.) On top of that, it relies heavily on the chorus rather than predominantly focusing on soloists. It's also got some great really loud bits that I get a kick out of blasting from my open-windowed car - sort of a classical rebellion, I suppose. ("Heh, don't you give me all that bass, you teenage whippersnapper, or I'll Brahms you!")
I sang the Brahms Requiem (or, more accurately, "Ein Deutsches Requiem" by Johannes Brahms), oh, probably about 10-ish years ago as part of the Springfield Symphony Chorus. I'd never been much of a Brahms fan - a bit thickly layered for me - and this piece was no exception. Until the second run through at the final dress rehearsal. All of a sudden, the piece fell together for me and is, now, probably my all time favorite choral work. 10 years later, I can still sing a goodly portion of the alto part from memory.
So, how, you ask, can a requiem, for God's sake, be comforting? Well, it's kind of funny - but this requiem is far more about addressing the needs of the living than ushering the dead into the next realm. The music is sweepingly complicated and beautiful, simultaneously warm and forceful, filled with wistful longing and gentle reassurance. The text speaks of the beauty of that next realm (Wie lieblich sind deine Wohnungen, Herr Zebaot - how lovely is thy dwelling place, Oh God.), it assures us that we will meet again with those who have gone before (Ich will euch wiedersehen - I will see you again).
Even as it admonishes us to remember that our lives are limited in duration (Herr, lehre doch mich das ein Ende mit mir haben muss, und mein Leben ein Ziel hat, und ich davon muss - Lord, teach me that there will be an end to me, that my life will draw to a close, and I must leave here), it reminds us that God does not forget God's own (Die Erloeseten des Herrn werden wieder kommen und gehn Zion - the beloved of the Lord will come again unto Heaven).
And, you know, there's something really comforting about that. Just my 2 cents, of course.
May 16, 2008
The Snarkiness Conundrum
Why is it that, when faced with oppositional snarkiness, I can never come up with an equally snarky yet witty (or at least cogent) response until afterward?
I was awakened the other morning by a telemarketer who, when I pointed out that I work nights and she woke me up, snottily suggested that I set my phone so that it didn't ring if I wanted to sleep. Did I at the time think to point out that (a) my in-laws are in assisted living and constantly being taken to the hospital for one thing or another so our phone needs to stay "on" so that we can be notified of these things, (b) snarkiness is no way to increase her sales and a polite apology would be a better sales path, (c) there's not a chance in H*ll we want to buy a timeshare (which is what her company sold), and (d) beyond all that, we're on the Do Not Call list and she's not supposed to be calling us anyway? No, of course not; these responses only occurred to me at least an hour or more later. I merely said "Goodbye" grumpily and she hung up in my ear (to which I, not so maturely, replied "bitch" and hung up with a vengeance myself.
Now, you could blame this failure to produce an Oscar-Wilde-worthy response to the fact that I've gotten little sleep lately or that she had just woken me up but, to be perfectly honest, I'm never much better when confronted with such snarkiness. Hours later (or, in some cases, days), the perfect dryly (and snarkily) witty response occurs to me but, at the time, I'm left stammering like a teenage boy faced with conversing with his long time crush.
So, Nancy from InnSeason Resorts, consider this my response: (a) it's none of your business why I don't set my phone to silent but I'll tell you anyway - it's because I want to know when my father-in-law is hauled off to the hospital (again), (b) bitchiness will get you nowhere in sales, (c) we don't want, have never wanted, and (likely) will never want a timeshare, and (d) we're on the Do Not Call list and you're violating federal law by calling us. So there. THPPPPPPBBBBT!!
I was awakened the other morning by a telemarketer who, when I pointed out that I work nights and she woke me up, snottily suggested that I set my phone so that it didn't ring if I wanted to sleep. Did I at the time think to point out that (a) my in-laws are in assisted living and constantly being taken to the hospital for one thing or another so our phone needs to stay "on" so that we can be notified of these things, (b) snarkiness is no way to increase her sales and a polite apology would be a better sales path, (c) there's not a chance in H*ll we want to buy a timeshare (which is what her company sold), and (d) beyond all that, we're on the Do Not Call list and she's not supposed to be calling us anyway? No, of course not; these responses only occurred to me at least an hour or more later. I merely said "Goodbye" grumpily and she hung up in my ear (to which I, not so maturely, replied "bitch" and hung up with a vengeance myself.
Now, you could blame this failure to produce an Oscar-Wilde-worthy response to the fact that I've gotten little sleep lately or that she had just woken me up but, to be perfectly honest, I'm never much better when confronted with such snarkiness. Hours later (or, in some cases, days), the perfect dryly (and snarkily) witty response occurs to me but, at the time, I'm left stammering like a teenage boy faced with conversing with his long time crush.
So, Nancy from InnSeason Resorts, consider this my response: (a) it's none of your business why I don't set my phone to silent but I'll tell you anyway - it's because I want to know when my father-in-law is hauled off to the hospital (again), (b) bitchiness will get you nowhere in sales, (c) we don't want, have never wanted, and (likely) will never want a timeshare, and (d) we're on the Do Not Call list and you're violating federal law by calling us. So there. THPPPPPPBBBBT!!
Apr 24, 2008
A Bit of A Surprise... But All Is Well
Last Thursday, we had a routine Level II ultrasound up at the hospital. Well, it would've been routine except that it showed the baby's fluid level dropped by 50% in 2 days. And the exam showed I was pre-eclampsic. So we didn't go home and that evening, Evelyn joined us by c-section (my second).
Luckily, she appears to be in excellent shape for a preemie. (She was nearly a month early.) She did have a stay under the bili-lights for jaundice but that appears to be going away as well. A mere 6 pounds at birth (19"), she actually dropped to 5 lb 6 oz before we left the hospital. The picture with her proud big sister doesn't really show exactly how skinny (scrawny, really, poor thing) she is - all sticks - but she's doing her level best to grow though and she was 5 lb 10 oz at her first post-hospital exam two days ago.
We weren't really ready, of course, which made for a really hectic time. We were lucky though and a wonderful friend agreed to take Katie on an hour's notice as we spent the few minutes after the ultrasound trying to shuffle our lives. John spent the weekend trying to ready the house. There are still things that need to be done but we're home and, well, they'll get done when they get done.
Apr 10, 2008
When Your Dreams Fail
Adjusting to the fact that one's best simply may not be good enough has got to be one of the most difficult tasks to accomplish.
I sing. I'm not the best but I'm a good, solid choral singer. I have excellent sight reading skills and a useful range, particularly in small choirs (where I have sung everything from Alto 2 to Soprano 1). I learn my music quickly and have little patience for "note-banging". I've sung in church choirs since I was 5, in school choirs since 2nd grade, making countless all counties, in college choir, making chamber choir, and in semi-professional (but unpaid) community choirs (Eastman Rochester Chorus, Springfield Symphony Chorus). I have, for a very long time now, wanted to "make something" of my voice.
There is a paid professional chorus (we'll call it the PPC) that I've really wanted to get into. Their director runs incredibly efficient, yet not lacking in humor, rehearsals. They sing really neat music. Both my church choir director and my voice teacher sing for them and know of my goal. I overheard after church choir rehearsal today my choir director encouraging someone to audition for the PPC. And it suddenly became clear that I have been deluding myself. I'm just not at that level and I'm not going to be. And, you know what?, this is a really, really painful discovery.
I think what makes it all worse is that singing professionally was sort of my last dream that I hadn't let go of yet. I had to let go of being a flight instructor (time and money). I had to let go of being a photography professor (grad school and I didn't get alone). My graphic design business never got out of the "struggling" stage and my jewelry creation business doesn't look like it will.
Now, some would say, "well, you're a mother, that should be good enough." Well, you know, for some it may be and I respect that; for me, it ain't. I love my daughter (though she drives me nuts) but, honestly, I'm a mediocre mother. I have no patience and lose my temper easily. I find small children deadly dull. And, even more to the point, I need to be successful in my own right not viewed through the lens of someone else's success or failure.
So now, I have a night job that I'm good at but hate and at which I get no respect (not me, personally, but the task I do), a day job that I'm lousy at (and let's not even talk about the lack of respect presented by 2 year old), and no dreams left to hold onto. All that's left is a long, empty slog to the grave as a middle-of-the-road nothing.
Man, that sucks.
I sing. I'm not the best but I'm a good, solid choral singer. I have excellent sight reading skills and a useful range, particularly in small choirs (where I have sung everything from Alto 2 to Soprano 1). I learn my music quickly and have little patience for "note-banging". I've sung in church choirs since I was 5, in school choirs since 2nd grade, making countless all counties, in college choir, making chamber choir, and in semi-professional (but unpaid) community choirs (Eastman Rochester Chorus, Springfield Symphony Chorus). I have, for a very long time now, wanted to "make something" of my voice.
There is a paid professional chorus (we'll call it the PPC) that I've really wanted to get into. Their director runs incredibly efficient, yet not lacking in humor, rehearsals. They sing really neat music. Both my church choir director and my voice teacher sing for them and know of my goal. I overheard after church choir rehearsal today my choir director encouraging someone to audition for the PPC. And it suddenly became clear that I have been deluding myself. I'm just not at that level and I'm not going to be. And, you know what?, this is a really, really painful discovery.
I think what makes it all worse is that singing professionally was sort of my last dream that I hadn't let go of yet. I had to let go of being a flight instructor (time and money). I had to let go of being a photography professor (grad school and I didn't get alone). My graphic design business never got out of the "struggling" stage and my jewelry creation business doesn't look like it will.
Now, some would say, "well, you're a mother, that should be good enough." Well, you know, for some it may be and I respect that; for me, it ain't. I love my daughter (though she drives me nuts) but, honestly, I'm a mediocre mother. I have no patience and lose my temper easily. I find small children deadly dull. And, even more to the point, I need to be successful in my own right not viewed through the lens of someone else's success or failure.
So now, I have a night job that I'm good at but hate and at which I get no respect (not me, personally, but the task I do), a day job that I'm lousy at (and let's not even talk about the lack of respect presented by 2 year old), and no dreams left to hold onto. All that's left is a long, empty slog to the grave as a middle-of-the-road nothing.
Man, that sucks.
Apr 6, 2008
The First Night
My baby is growing up ... ::sniff::
She's spending her first night in her new room tonight in her new toddler bed (ok, new to her - we were just going to go with the twin mattress on the floor but a friend offered us their used toddler bed with mattress and bedding free - whee!!)
Once we get her fully moved in (the bulk of the work is done but there are a few small remaining things to do), I'll post before and after pictures of the room. The different is amazing. But for right now, the amazement is that she's old enough to be out of her crib (which she never climbed out of so we never bothered to move her before this) and into a "big girl" room. What's weirder yet is the idea that no one is sleeping in the crib. We've checked on that crib so many times in the last 2.5 years and to see it empty (albeit, God willing, only for a month) is just wild.
Now the question is what to do about the monitor. Several people have told me you can't run more than one monitor in the house (unless it's specifically made with multiple transmitters) because they interfere with each other (and, in fact, we even have trouble with our back yard neighbor's monitor). I'm just not sure I'm ready to give up on monitoring her yet, particularly since we're still potty training and she'll call for help mid-nap. But the multiple room monitors are wicked expensive and the reviews are mixed (some love 'em, some have nothing but problems).
She's spending her first night in her new room tonight in her new toddler bed (ok, new to her - we were just going to go with the twin mattress on the floor but a friend offered us their used toddler bed with mattress and bedding free - whee!!)
Once we get her fully moved in (the bulk of the work is done but there are a few small remaining things to do), I'll post before and after pictures of the room. The different is amazing. But for right now, the amazement is that she's old enough to be out of her crib (which she never climbed out of so we never bothered to move her before this) and into a "big girl" room. What's weirder yet is the idea that no one is sleeping in the crib. We've checked on that crib so many times in the last 2.5 years and to see it empty (albeit, God willing, only for a month) is just wild.
Now the question is what to do about the monitor. Several people have told me you can't run more than one monitor in the house (unless it's specifically made with multiple transmitters) because they interfere with each other (and, in fact, we even have trouble with our back yard neighbor's monitor). I'm just not sure I'm ready to give up on monitoring her yet, particularly since we're still potty training and she'll call for help mid-nap. But the multiple room monitors are wicked expensive and the reviews are mixed (some love 'em, some have nothing but problems).
Mar 31, 2008
In the Blink of an Eye
John's oldest sister and her husband lost everything they owned today when their house burnt to an empty shell, including their two beagles who were in the house.
Just something to contemplate when we are frustrated about the setbacks life hands us - most of which don't involve being left without even a change of underwear.
A good lesson for me, certainly.
Any prayers you can spare for them would be appreciated.
Just something to contemplate when we are frustrated about the setbacks life hands us - most of which don't involve being left without even a change of underwear.
A good lesson for me, certainly.
Any prayers you can spare for them would be appreciated.
Mar 24, 2008
Happy Easter From Us to You!
It was a good Easter, albeit one with an early start. John got home from DC at about 3 am and we were both up by 6:15 am. I had rehearsal at just after 7 for the 8 am Mass and John loyally decided to haul himself and Katiekins out of bed for the occasion.
The music was modern - Charles Callahan Alleluia and Nancy Hill Cobb Gloria - but went well. (Good Friday's music was spectacular though - Faure and Mozart - sigh!) And I cannot believe how packed the 8 am Mass was. Go figure.
At any rate, I hope you all had a nice Easter!
Mar 15, 2008
It Was a Crappy Day But Then...
I got a chance to make a pair of earrings from a tutorial I bought on Etsy last night. I sent a picture of the earrings to the writer of the tutorial and she asked if she could post it on her blog!! Whee!!
Check out my newest creation at http://decorshandmades.blogspot.com/. They look a little gold in the picture but they're sterling with amethysts.
Pretty well made up for feeling like sh*t warmed over with a goodly side of sn*t (bad chest cold - they assure me it's not possible to cough myself into labor - I sure hope they're right), having a cantankerous toddler, and Mr. PPG being a typical male(read, "royal pain in the *ss") for much of the day.
But I'm not going to think about that. I'm going to drink another cup of hot fluids, fill up my humidifier, and go to bed. And think about the lovely earrings and the flattering response from the teacher. Beats the heck out of dwelling on potty training.
Check out my newest creation at http://decorshandmades.blogspot.com/. They look a little gold in the picture but they're sterling with amethysts.
Pretty well made up for feeling like sh*t warmed over with a goodly side of sn*t (bad chest cold - they assure me it's not possible to cough myself into labor - I sure hope they're right), having a cantankerous toddler, and Mr. PPG being a typical male(read, "royal pain in the *ss") for much of the day.
But I'm not going to think about that. I'm going to drink another cup of hot fluids, fill up my humidifier, and go to bed. And think about the lovely earrings and the flattering response from the teacher. Beats the heck out of dwelling on potty training.
Mar 7, 2008
MS Word SUCKS!
In oh-so-many ways, of course, but I just need to vent about one in particular.
Whose bright idea was it to let computer programmers be the arbiters of grammar??
Ok, I feel better now. Mostly, at least.
- "Its" is a possessive, meaning that the object being discussed belongs to the subject It.
- "It's" is a contraction for "it is".
Whose bright idea was it to let computer programmers be the arbiters of grammar??
Ok, I feel better now. Mostly, at least.
Mar 6, 2008
There's Always Someone Who Has It Worse Off
I discovered a website yesterday that really made me appreciate all I have. If you have the time and inclination, please visit www.modestneeds.org (there's also a button link in my sidebar).
The nice thing about it is that you have the option of directing where you'd like any donation to go - and, no, I don't mean just general categories. Like Kiva, you can direct your contribution to a particular application for help. (FYI, unlike Kiva, this is a charity and not a lending type of situation.)
Times are hard for so many of us but this site allows us to donate so little but, combined with other's donations, it can make such a difference to someone who has it even worse. Even if it's only $5... heck, even $1... please consider making a donation. You could make a true difference in someone's life.
The nice thing about it is that you have the option of directing where you'd like any donation to go - and, no, I don't mean just general categories. Like Kiva, you can direct your contribution to a particular application for help. (FYI, unlike Kiva, this is a charity and not a lending type of situation.)
Times are hard for so many of us but this site allows us to donate so little but, combined with other's donations, it can make such a difference to someone who has it even worse. Even if it's only $5... heck, even $1... please consider making a donation. You could make a true difference in someone's life.
Mar 4, 2008
On Being Screwed and The Symbols of Screwing
Let's take the second one first...
Ok, I did better at the show this weekend than I'd initially thought. I only lost 88 cents so I essentially broke even - as long as I get paid nothing for the hours and hours of prep, set up, attendance, driving, etc. Still, as (initially) I thought I'd lost $300, it could be worse.
I am absolutely exhausted. It was good to see my sister and our display looked very nice.
But, honestly? The real show didn't feature the vendors... it featured the attendees. Who sported (*don't click the links if you are easily offended*) deelyboppers, carrying around large quantities of booze which they drank through straws ... including in rainbow colors, and, lest you jewelry wearers feel ignored, many (many) also adorned themselves with blinking pins and stickers that said "I love orgasms... don't you?" I never made it to the main ballroom but I'm told it held loud music, a lot of beer, and male strippers.
One of the women on the jewelry making forum I belong to said I should probably be grateful that my jewelry didn't sell better - any woman prone to wearing deelyboppers shaped like male genitalia probably wouldn't exactly be a good representative for my "art". I'd like to think that the weekend was an aberration for these women. There can't really be *that* many crass women around, can there?
This is not to say that there weren't classy women there too - there were and some of them were really very nice... They were definitely outnumbered though.
Alrighty, on to the second point... being screwed. Or, rather, on having Screw You Health Insurance...
For those who have been wondering, nope, we still have no resolution.
I spoke with "member services" on the 25th. At that point, Member Services had heard nothing about it. The woman's supervisor said if it's that close to when I'm supposed to have the baby, it's usually treated as still being in-network but can't say specifically because they have no word that HCC will be OON.
Ok, then the 29th, I heard from our state legislator. Her contact in the industry had come back saying that talks hadn't broken down, that they expected to reach a deal, and that I would likely be covered under a transitional care plan even if they didn't.
On the 1st (while I was gone), we received a letter from Oxford Health that the hospital would be OON as of April 1 and that "women in their second trimester of pregnancy may be eligible for transitional care and should call member services to discuss it." Note that it does not say "second trimester or later" and also does say "may be eligible" not "will be eligible"...)
So, on Monday (3/3), I called Member Services. After being on hold from 3:45 - 3:59 p.m., I learned that Member Services just got word of the hospital termination that morning. She transferred me to the medical management department who can handle the transitional care issues.
I held on the line from 3:59 - 4:19, when medical management finally picked up and thought I was a provider, then when I told her I was a member asked (with annoyance) "were you transferred up here?!" She advised that the hospital wasn't showing as terminated in her system but that she would submit the request for the transitional care for me "for the hospital only". (quoted language made me nervous - what about the OB, etc.?) I asked if there was anything else I needed to do or if I was all set for the pregnancy and she said there was nothing else I needed to do - that someone would be getting in touch with me. They have to review it and one of the coordinators will be getting in contact with me. She did not seem terribly confident and seemed to be brushing me off. I got off the phone at 5:35 p.m.
It gets worse. The medical management coordinator woman called me this morning (3/4/08). She said, flatly, "we don't do transitional care for facilities". I told her that wasn't what the letter I received said and read her the language. She asked me to fax the letter and said she'd get back to me "in a couple of days". I faxed the letter to her and tried to call to confirm her receipt (I got a confirmation but I figured better safe than sorry). Unfortunately, the number she called in from was a general number for the entire Northeast Region of United Healthcare and I don't have her last name. I guess I'll just have to pray that she actually will call back.
I have an appointment with my OB on Thursday and I will definitely be talking to him then about what he sees my options as. I'm also going to have John ask the insurance agent again about switching insurance. I've also emailed my state legislator with an update. I think it's time to get the Office of Health Care Advocate involved.
One thing I have been very surprised by in all of this is how very high a percentage of the general population loathes health insurance companies. And even more surprising? The loathing transcends political and ideological viewpoints. Liberals, conservatives, Republicans, Democrats - everyone hates insurance companies.
And my daughter (who's stayed dry the last two days for the most part) just wet her pants. Gotta go.
Ok, I did better at the show this weekend than I'd initially thought. I only lost 88 cents so I essentially broke even - as long as I get paid nothing for the hours and hours of prep, set up, attendance, driving, etc. Still, as (initially) I thought I'd lost $300, it could be worse.
I am absolutely exhausted. It was good to see my sister and our display looked very nice.
But, honestly? The real show didn't feature the vendors... it featured the attendees. Who sported (*don't click the links if you are easily offended*) deelyboppers, carrying around large quantities of booze which they drank through straws ... including in rainbow colors, and, lest you jewelry wearers feel ignored, many (many) also adorned themselves with blinking pins and stickers that said "I love orgasms... don't you?" I never made it to the main ballroom but I'm told it held loud music, a lot of beer, and male strippers.
One of the women on the jewelry making forum I belong to said I should probably be grateful that my jewelry didn't sell better - any woman prone to wearing deelyboppers shaped like male genitalia probably wouldn't exactly be a good representative for my "art". I'd like to think that the weekend was an aberration for these women. There can't really be *that* many crass women around, can there?
This is not to say that there weren't classy women there too - there were and some of them were really very nice... They were definitely outnumbered though.
Alrighty, on to the second point... being screwed. Or, rather, on having Screw You Health Insurance...
For those who have been wondering, nope, we still have no resolution.
I spoke with "member services" on the 25th. At that point, Member Services had heard nothing about it. The woman's supervisor said if it's that close to when I'm supposed to have the baby, it's usually treated as still being in-network but can't say specifically because they have no word that HCC will be OON.
Ok, then the 29th, I heard from our state legislator. Her contact in the industry had come back saying that talks hadn't broken down, that they expected to reach a deal, and that I would likely be covered under a transitional care plan even if they didn't.
On the 1st (while I was gone), we received a letter from Oxford Health that the hospital would be OON as of April 1 and that "women in their second trimester of pregnancy may be eligible for transitional care and should call member services to discuss it." Note that it does not say "second trimester or later" and also does say "may be eligible" not "will be eligible"...)
So, on Monday (3/3), I called Member Services. After being on hold from 3:45 - 3:59 p.m., I learned that Member Services just got word of the hospital termination that morning. She transferred me to the medical management department who can handle the transitional care issues.
I held on the line from 3:59 - 4:19, when medical management finally picked up and thought I was a provider, then when I told her I was a member asked (with annoyance) "were you transferred up here?!" She advised that the hospital wasn't showing as terminated in her system but that she would submit the request for the transitional care for me "for the hospital only". (quoted language made me nervous - what about the OB, etc.?) I asked if there was anything else I needed to do or if I was all set for the pregnancy and she said there was nothing else I needed to do - that someone would be getting in touch with me. They have to review it and one of the coordinators will be getting in contact with me. She did not seem terribly confident and seemed to be brushing me off. I got off the phone at 5:35 p.m.
It gets worse. The medical management coordinator woman called me this morning (3/4/08). She said, flatly, "we don't do transitional care for facilities". I told her that wasn't what the letter I received said and read her the language. She asked me to fax the letter and said she'd get back to me "in a couple of days". I faxed the letter to her and tried to call to confirm her receipt (I got a confirmation but I figured better safe than sorry). Unfortunately, the number she called in from was a general number for the entire Northeast Region of United Healthcare and I don't have her last name. I guess I'll just have to pray that she actually will call back.
I have an appointment with my OB on Thursday and I will definitely be talking to him then about what he sees my options as. I'm also going to have John ask the insurance agent again about switching insurance. I've also emailed my state legislator with an update. I think it's time to get the Office of Health Care Advocate involved.
One thing I have been very surprised by in all of this is how very high a percentage of the general population loathes health insurance companies. And even more surprising? The loathing transcends political and ideological viewpoints. Liberals, conservatives, Republicans, Democrats - everyone hates insurance companies.
And my daughter (who's stayed dry the last two days for the most part) just wet her pants. Gotta go.
Feb 27, 2008
Health Insurance Update
The short story is that there's nothing definitive to report.
I did speak with the insurance company customer "care" people (now, isn't *that* an oxymoron?!). While they were nice enough, they claimed to have no notice of the situation (neither she nor her supervisor). The supervisor said that "typically" if a woman is so close to her due date, the insurer would still treat the hospital as in network. They wouldn't put it in writing though.
I also sent an email to the negotiating VP for the insurance company. Not surprisingly, I've gotten no response to that (though it didn't get bumped back either).
My OB 's office believes it's just, as Betty said, a corporate pissing match and that they're telling patients not to panic. All well and good except that they're not the ones faced with a $10K hospital bill if it doesn't work out. I was unable to confirm whether he does still also deliver at UConn or not.
My state legislator forwarded my stuff to "the appropriate lobbyist" to ask for help. Haven't heard anything further.
John's spoken with the insurance agent who says that, as long as we decide in the next week or so, we should be able to switch insurance carriers and he's getting quotes. The problem with that is that it means not just switching *us* but switching his entire office - which isn't really fair to the others in the office. The agent did feel that it was likely that this was just posturing for negotiation and, even if the contract talks failed, it was likely I'd be covered still under the principal of continuity of care.
So... how's that for a bunch of "up in the air"?! Some heartening info - but it's all so vague and no one will commit to anything. Argh!!!
The one thing I've discovered is that most people hate health insurance companies. Frankly, I think they ought to be non-profits. Because as long as there is money to be made, there is a fairly strong conflict of interest there. Just MHO!
I did speak with the insurance company customer "care" people (now, isn't *that* an oxymoron?!). While they were nice enough, they claimed to have no notice of the situation (neither she nor her supervisor). The supervisor said that "typically" if a woman is so close to her due date, the insurer would still treat the hospital as in network. They wouldn't put it in writing though.
I also sent an email to the negotiating VP for the insurance company. Not surprisingly, I've gotten no response to that (though it didn't get bumped back either).
My OB 's office believes it's just, as Betty said, a corporate pissing match and that they're telling patients not to panic. All well and good except that they're not the ones faced with a $10K hospital bill if it doesn't work out. I was unable to confirm whether he does still also deliver at UConn or not.
My state legislator forwarded my stuff to "the appropriate lobbyist" to ask for help. Haven't heard anything further.
John's spoken with the insurance agent who says that, as long as we decide in the next week or so, we should be able to switch insurance carriers and he's getting quotes. The problem with that is that it means not just switching *us* but switching his entire office - which isn't really fair to the others in the office. The agent did feel that it was likely that this was just posturing for negotiation and, even if the contract talks failed, it was likely I'd be covered still under the principal of continuity of care.
So... how's that for a bunch of "up in the air"?! Some heartening info - but it's all so vague and no one will commit to anything. Argh!!!
The one thing I've discovered is that most people hate health insurance companies. Frankly, I think they ought to be non-profits. Because as long as there is money to be made, there is a fairly strong conflict of interest there. Just MHO!
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